2014 in Review

Everyone loves a bit of retrospection at the end of the year and I am no exception. It's very interesting to go through your blog stats and see what was popular and what was not. It's always a bit of a surprise. 

Lots of people do their Top 5 or whatever and I am going to do that too. But I also want to share some of the posts that I think deserved a bit more attention than they got. So, I've got a Top 10 least read - separating them out into Food and Other.

Here we go

Top 10 Least read Food posts

1) Morty & Bob - ubercheesy goodness.

2) Grill My Cheese - more cheesy goodness. With pork!
3) United Ramen - not-quite-hitting-the-spot noodles.
4) Ribstock - um, maybe the best day ever? So many ribs.
5) Bird - waffle burger. That is all.
6) Flat Iron - value for money tasty steak.
7) Roti King - drool. Freshly made rotis.
8) Salvation in Noodles - neighbourhood noodle joint.
9) St Moritz - more cheese! But too pricey.
10) Chez Elles - perfectly French bistro.

Top 10 Least read Non-Food posts

1) East London Liquor - East London's only distillery. Tres cool.

2) Rock Paper Scissors Championship - way more fun than you'd expect

3) Freemasons - ridiculous grandeur

4) Double Denim - not the 90s night billed

5) Luna Cinema - floating on water is the best way to see a film.

6) Design Museum - ingenious innovation

7) Regression Sessions - a blast, for the young at heart and actually young

8) Shunt - weird and wonderful

9) The Victoria - literally my new favourite neighbourhood pub

10) The Warwick - prime example of awful West End bars.

And here we go... my Top 5 Most Popular Posts of the Year!
Congratulations to those below:

5) Opera Tavern - small plates/tapas with style

4) Clutch - top notch fried chicken

3) Oslo - cool new bar for food and drinks, great space for gigs and clubnights upstairs

2) Tongue Fu - a spoken word night like no other

1) White Mink (by a long way) - electro swing bringing one of the best parties in London!

Thirsty Bear, 2nd December

I'm a sucker for a bit of novelty, so when I heard about a pub where you can pull your own pints I knew I had to visit.

The opportunity arose when we needed somewhere to go for a drink before going to the Grimm Tales' second show (as wondrous as the first), as that was taking place around the corner in the Oxo Tower Wharf.

At 6pm on a Tuesday evening, Thirsty Bear wasn't exactly doing a roaring trade (where is at such a time) but I noticed quite a few tables were reserved for later. Perhaps a pub quiz? I couldn't stay long enough to find out.

Not only do they let you pour your own drinks, but they also do table service - hi-tech table service, with the purpose of taking out the annoying part of being at the bar - all the queuting and jostling for service. Here (provided you get the right table) you simply log in to the iPad on the table, scroll through all the drinks (cocktails, beer, wine), food (nachos, burgers, chips etc), snacks and even cigarettes and make your selection. Then you sit back and wait for it to arrive. Unless you want tap water, in which case, it seemed you could only get that at the bar. (But why would you want tap water?)

Or, if you don't like waiting at all, you can let them know you'll be doing your own serving, by making use of one of the taps on your table. That's right, beer (or cider) is directly pumped to where you are sitting,from which you can have as much or as little as you like. You're given a glass to top up as you please, and this is charged in tenths of a pint. Because I just had to try it out, just before we left I poured myself what turned out to be a third of a pint and was charged £1.20 for it. Pretty reasonably priced. The downside to this method though is that you only have a choice of Strongbow (bleugh) or Amstel.

The other beers and wines on offer through the iPad are pretty decent - my friend had a Malbec and I had a glass of Picpoul. A few of us got some food - nachos looked good and other chips/breaded items were decent. 

The guy behind the bar was really helpful, explaining how the system works, and had endless patience when we left at the end and all wanted to pay our bar tabs separately. That's the only thing about the system - you get one login for the table, meaning all the drinks go on one person's tab, which could lead to some awkward bill splitting later.

Without the novelty this would be just a pretty average pub, but it's amazing how fun a bit of technology can make a normal experience.


So we went on to my second time at Grimm Tales - this time there were five stories to watch and a much bigger setting to wander around. Again, everyone loved them and, given there are 100s of Tales to choose from, I hope that this becomes a yearly event. Some pictures: 

The Sun Tavern, 30th November

The Sun Tavern, formerly the Sun Tavern (a pub of that name has been there since 1851), is the second establishment from the guys behind the Discount Suit Co. and I'm happy to report that it is just as likeable as their first place. 

From the outside it doesn't look open, but have faith and push open those doors. Inside is, indeed, what I would describe as a tavern - cosy and low-lit with blinds covering the windows giving it the darkened look from outside.

I went at about 5pm on a Sunday afternoon for my first visit and there it was populated but there were still a few tables available. I went back again the other night - a Saturday night - and we again managed to get a seat, but only just. 

Discount Suit is an underground cocktail den, whereas this place is more pubby so you won't feel like you're missing the point if you have a wine (as I did on Saturday) or one of the local beers and ciders written on a board at the back of the bar. But, of course, they do still know their cocktails and this makes up the focus of the menu. So on that Sunday evening I had to try a couple in the time I was there.  

First up the Peach Fuzz. Gin, sherry, creme de peche, served in a metal tankard with a pile of ice like a julep. Their menu is divided into Tankard Drinks and Mixed Drinks. So I went for the 12 Mile Limit off the Mixed Drinks to try one of each. White rum, cognac, rye mixed with some grenadine and lime. This was my kind of drink. Strong and punchy and prettily garnished with flowers. And all the cocktails are either £7.50 or £8.00. My kind of prices. Well, sort of. Wine comes in choices of red, white or fizz and a very small glass (125ml) is £4.50. Expensive for unlabelled wine. Better to go for a bottle which is a very reasonable £16.

Bethnal Green is turning into the place to be if it isn't already and The Sun Tavern makes it even more of a worthy destination. 

Dishoom, 21st November

I don't really know how to say this but, well, I thought Dishoom was... just... okay... I know, what is wrong with me? Wasn't I supposed to absolutely fall in love with it? I mean, I liked it, but that's as far as it went. If it were a beau, I'd probably go on a second date, but I'm not sitting by the phone on edge, waiting for it to ring.

Dishoom has been on my list for a long, long time. So long in fact, that in that time they have opened a third branch in King's Cross. I assumed, for the sake of speedy seating, that the best option would be to go to one of their more established branches to avoid any queues. But on twitter they assured me that their new branch had been pretty quiet since the 50% soft launch opening. And they were right. When we got there at six we were shown to a table straight away, and although the place did fill out a bit while we were there, there was no sign of any hour-and-a-half waits. (That's how long we were told we'd have to wait when we tried to get into the one in Shoreditch once.)

Dishoom sits comfortably between high-end Indian and eat-at-2-am curry. And the prices somewhat reflect that, although the portions are on the diminutive side, meaning it's not quite as good value for money as it would at first appear.

Trying to be reasonably healthy and not spend too much, Stephen and I just got one small plate, one grill and one main between us, as well as the requisite sides of a nan (garlic) and rice (they offer only one type – steamed basmati).

We ordered the okra small plate as our nibbles, which was as good move as we needed something to dip in the chutneys and dips that we were given for the table. These were delicious and it would have been nice to have some complimentary poppadoms to make the most of them. One was minty and cool, one was basically just chilli, so rather fiery, and the tamarind sauce was also surprisingly spicy.

Our lady fingers were great - most likely coated in something and lightly fried, they were a more than acceptable alternative to a bowl of chips. I easily could have eaten a portion on my own.

For the main event we ordered the plainspoken ‘chicken ruby’ and the lamb boti kabab. The ruby murray came in a thick, tomatoey sauce which was a little too tomatoey and sweet, not quite enough spice for the both of us. Perfectly nice to eat but didn’t make me swoon, and I was very much expecting to. We much preferred the chunks of lamb that had been marinated in red chili, garlic and ginger, although they seemed to get cold quite quickly.

To drink I had an East India Gimlet which was so nice I had another one. A very light, but strong drink, the celery bitters tempering any sweetness from the lime cordial.

Unusually, we had a dessert at Dishoom - we split the pineapple and black pepper crumble with custard, which was a good note to end on. Warm pineapple is a wonderful taste and the custard and crumble made it suitable stodgy and indulgent. 

In all it was a perfectly pleasant meal and I was only a bit disappointed because I'd had such high expectations. I’d be happy enough to return if someone suggested going (especially this branch - the setting is rather beautiful), but I’m not going to rush back. 

See the menu and more reviews of this restaurant on Zomato. 

New Year's Eve 2014

New Year's Eve is barrelling towards us, have you decided where to go? Well, luckily for you I've spent the past couple of weeks collating places to go. Here are some of my favourites:

Bedroom Bar, 10-4 This is a great club that throws all kinds of eclectic nights. For New Year;s Eve they've got punk-rock, new-wave, and soul, pop music, salsa and rock and roll, Calypso, reggae rhythm, and blues. AND it's only £5 in advance with an option to pay only £10 on the door. You won't find many cheaper nights than that.

Except for Translate that is, which are basically having their normal night - no tickets in advance, just £5 on the door. Probably best to go down early though. 

After my friends threw an amazing house party with a UV theme, this night from Bounce really appeals. They're having a UV party, with free play all night once you've got a ticket, DJs until 3 and UV face painting plus other games and things! 10-15 quid, 8:30 - 3, last entry 11:30

If ping pong is your thing and you also want to pretend you're in the Wolf of Wall Street then Ping in Earl's Court may just make your dream come true with their Wold of Wall Street themed night. It could also be full of people who think they actually do live like the Wolf, so go at your own peril. More info here.

Blow Up. I went to Blow Up in the Bussey Building around this time last year and had a wicked time. Expect their mix of 60s soul and funk plus a good dose of britpop. And they're taking it central to St Moritz. 9 - 4, from 10 quid, more info here.

There's a couple more places taking it old, old school with Motown and Northern Soul. Choose from Stories in Broadway Market, or Casa Negra in Shoreditch. Stories is free, Casa Negra is pretty cheap at £15, unless you want to go early for their dinner party first. 

I found this one very, very tempting, despite it being full of children when I went to Regression Sessions before. I just love me some silly games and the idea of a space hopper dance off sounds amazing. Plus an inflatable zoo and they play a wicked mix of music.Better Together night at Renaissance Rooms, Vauxhall. Up to £22 quid though quite cheap now. More info here

If you want something a little more low key but you fancy a night out, then the Cat and Mutton might have just the thing - an East End Boozer night, where supping pints is encouraged. More info here. Until 4 am, £10 -15

For a crowd-pleasing mix of music. Brixton Jamm is hosting Gold Teeth which plays 90s hip hop, garage, funk, soul, rock and 60s tunes. It's on until 6 am for the hard partiers like me and tickets are only £15 now though they rise to £22 as they sell out.

Catch is also playing a spread of dancing crowdpleasing music if there are a few of you with different tastes. They've got 80s, 90s, hip hop, house, disco etc until 5 am, tickets start at £5 adn go up to about £20. More info here.

Top pick for me and my crew is Oslo's first New Year's Eve. It sounds like it's laid back fun playing a good mix of party music (disco, new wave, soul, indie) as it's basically their weekly Friday night Valhalla, gone large. I love the idea of the free canapes and drinks tasters making it feel like a big house party. More info here. 8-4 am, advance tix £10.

If you fancy some live music then The New Empowering Church have got a band on at 10:30 to get you in the mood for the midnight kiss, and then it's dancing until 5. I'm kinda gutted I'm not going to this one as it's the final night for this venue. 9-5 am, £25 in advance. More info here.

For indieheads then The Lexington sounds fun (until 4 am, £15 in advance) or there's This Feeling at The Macbeth (until 4, £25 in advance). 

For househeads then Dollop at the Troxy has to be a top contender. One word: TEED. But also MK. It goes until 6 am, with last entry at 11:30, and is a whopping £33 for tickets!

Village underground also have quite the lineup with Ivan Smagghe and GERD at the Krankbrothers night there. Also a late finisher at 6 am, and tickets are £20. 

Other good nights for techno or house have to be the Zombie Soundsystem takeover at Cargo (tickets only £10, plus even though the night finishes at 6, there's an afterparty), and Fabric have Seth Troxler and Jack Master. 

For something a bit different, the Looking Glass have a little burlesque going on with there party until 5 am (see here), or how about a Zodiac themed night at the Dead Dolls Club which includes dinner if you so choose and has music from Dan Beaumont and Hannah Holland? 

Or, Craig Charles is setting up his funk and soul shpp at Brooklyn Bowl, and The Correspondents are making an appearance! They know how to rock the place. 

If you want to know of any more places, just ask - this list is not exhaustive of everywhere I have investigated!

Book Club Boutique, 5th November

Lovers of spoken word! Bibliophiles! Where were you November 5th? I'll tell you where I was - lounging in the intimate and cosy Vout O Reenees club, listening to Salena Godden and her fellow chums published by Unbound deliver some very fine prose. And you should have been too! There was certainly room for more - in fact, without my Meetup group, I think everyone else there would have been one of the speakers or their nearest and dearest. Which is ludicrous, for it was an excellent event. It even managed to convert some un-poetry-minded people to the love of spoken word.

Vout O Reenees

We had about seven different artistes, who were celebrating the fact that they had recently had their poetry published by Burning Books. They were all 'label mates' if you will. And there wasn't a dud among them, although Dan Cockerill's pieces (who runs Bang said the Gun) were a little too child-centric for me. I'm sure you would have appreciated it more if you had children of your own.

All were very different - from the geek-chic poetry of Dan Simpson, musing on the unfortunate pseudonyms of the orange pac-man around the world, to the sublimely surreal Rob Auton, pondering what heaven might be like. Are chickens there? Do they get eaten? Do they mind?

We had Alice Furse reading an excerpt from her novel (the only non-poet of the night), about her first job and we had the wonderfully funny Mab Jones who, among other things, treated us to a touching poem to her hot young boyfriend about why she loves him.

Probably the most spine-tingling was Joelle Taylor, who I had seen before at Bang, but was no less affecting for that. As someone who works with young people, her poetry about a misused woman had a particular impact. 

And I haven't even mentioned A F Harrold, cohost Michelle Madsen or Salena Godden herself, who were all equally wonderful.

The night bills itself as 'books, booze and boogie-woogie'. It wasn't perhaps the booze-soaked revelry you might expect but it did have a certain rowdiness to it, coming from the fact that all the speakers clearly know and love each other and weren't afraid to show it. And there was a raffle - and I won a prize! Another one on my List to return to. 

Carousel, 31st October

I had already been to one Carousel and had a gay old time, but didn’t end up writing about it so I thought I would put a few words down about the last one I went to , as well as the time before.

Carousel is along the lines of Rumpus though tends to be on a slightly smaller scale. At least two rooms have various different performances or things going on, and they play a variety of music as well. There’s sometimes a particular theme but otherwise dressing up in anything reminiscent of circuses and cabaret is encouraged. Recently they threw a two-night Halloween extravaganza based around The Rocky Horror Show. People dressed as one of the characters and things kicked off at 11:30 when the ‘official cast’ lead us all in a rendition of the Time Warp. Then, peppered throughout the evening, those playing the characters did various performances of songs from the show, reimagined. Thus ‘Touch me’ between Janet and Rocky was a sexy aerialist performance. And Eddie, who was ‘played’ by someone far sexier than Meatloaf ever was, entered the stage on his motorbike and did a fire-eating performance. And then it was rounded off with an ensemble performance at the end for Frank’n’furter’s demise. In between we had live bands and DJs, which started off a little too cheesy for my liking but with a few brass instruments thrown in made for some good party music.There was dancing galore!

But that was all in the main room. In the second room there was also music but less dancing, at least to begin with. Instead, this was where the party games were, for example bobbing for apples, and then, later on, limbo! And there was at least one secret area as well, which I was lucky enough to discover – I can’t say whether there were any more I didn’t know about! At about 2 am or so my friend grabbed me and chucked me through a door that really looked like it was for staff only. But that was all a pretence, for through that door a secret dinner party was going on and if you came in, you got to be a guest and even get to say some lines as it all unfolded. This was the icing on the cake for me – a wonderful and much fun little immersive surprise.

At past Carousels they have had the fabulous Mr B, Gentleman Rhymer, spitting hip hop lyrics in the most refined vintage fashion, and I’m sure at the other one I went to, they had glitter wrestling, though my mind can’t quite believe that could be the case. People all oiled up and wrestling in glitter? Would something like that be allowed? I can’t be certain it was. (It was.)

So, whatever the theme, Carousel have a way about them with intimate yet highly entertaining parties, and I shall be sure to get myself along to whatever they have in store next time.

Colab's Fifth Column, 30th October

I had really low expectations of CoLab’s Fifth Column before I went due to various things I’d read, and even these weren’t met. I feel like the whole set up had a lot of potential but the way it was carried out fell way short of what it could have been.

We had to gather at a meeting point and then ‘rendez-vous’ with a contact and give them the secret phrase. That part was promising, even though we were given the wrong contact and password to begin with. We were then explained a fairly complicated backstory which already put us on the backfoot, exchanging glances, worried about what we would have to remember. It turned out we had to remember very little as for the whole of the event we were basically shepherded around and had very little involvement in the storyline or what unfolded. This confused our group as we thought there was at least some element of interactivity in the first half and that it might be up to us to push the plotline forward. We kept hesitating to regroup and consider what had occurred, much to the exasperation of our ‘agent’ who basically just wanted to make sure we got to the designated end venue in time.

Some of it was fun – we were all given walkie talkies and an agent number and while we pursued the group we were going to infiltrate, we had fun saying ‘Roger’ and ‘Copy that’ and ‘we’ve been made!’ to each other. But none of it meant anything. There was no real infiltration, or even interaction, with the group we were following – they were just another set of paying participants, put on a slightly different story arc to us. So we followed them around for about an hour, hanging back. At one point someone with a suitcase came along and we took it, but we didn’t have to figure out how to open it or what it all meant – we were just lead to the ‘end game’. At one point our agent gave us a secret word and we all had to run, but we didn’t run to anywhere in particular and no one was following us. It was just running for running’s sake. Nothing happened. I was nonplussed.

The end game was a secret lair where the hackers we were infiltrating and us agents were meeting to bring about the end of this shady organization, the ETF. We had been told the ETF had been controlling most of the world’s funds, using it to start wars and assure England’s continued prosperity. For the first time we had to do something. And time was running out! Only it wasn’t and all sense of urgency was ruined when their WiFi wouldn’t work and so the emails we were ‘hacking’ into wouldn’t load and we couldn’t get the secret password. I could sense a lot of people clocking out at this point. Finally we somehow managed to connect and we put the password and various ‘keys’ into the mainframe and set the scene for the finale. Which – unsurprisingly – was a bit of an anticlimax. There was a scene where a double agent was revealed. This should have been quite touching as it involved betrayal within a married couple, but due to rather poor acting and a lack of built-up affinity with the characters, it was just somewhat awkward. Then our lair was under threat – a SWAT team was on the way – we all had to get out, get out now! And that was the end. I expected at least some sound effects of gunfire or explosions to get the adrenaline going, but there was nothing.

I think they could have included much more interaction during the first half which would have made us buy into the second half. They gave us way too much information to start – this could have been fed to us throughout the evening, by using more characters to interact with – and even just giving us a couple of clues to solve would have greatly improved this evening. The problems with technology in the lair really did jolt the continuity and I just didn’t buy into the urgency or consequences they were trying to foster. We were supposed to be bringing down civilization as we knew it but it didn’t feel like it. If these guys and Agent November could get together, they might have something pretty special, but as it was, I wish I hadn’t wasted my money. 

The Rum Kitchen, 27th October

That must have been one of the most average meals I’ve had in a long while. My ‘jerk chicken’ burger was incredibly basic, the scotch bonnet garlic mayo having nothing scotchy or garlicky about it, except that it was a slightly pale pink. The chicken had no discernible jerk flavour at all. I decided to get a veggie patty with it instead of a traditional side. This also came with scotch bonnet mayo which again had no heat whatsoever. The actual patty had more spice than the mayo and good flavour but it was pretty soft and squidgy which I wasn’t expecting. I thought the casing would have some bite to it.

My friend also had the chicken burger but she got sweet potato fries and they were, admittedly, nice and crispy on the outside and very moreish.

The only saving grace to this place was the fact that they had a happy hour on until 7, and the cocktails were only £5. I had two of their Alligator wines, a sangria-like drink made with rum and red wine, and my friend had one of these and a Santa Teresa Daiquiri. They were too easy to drink – tasty but light on the alcohol I suspected.

I think I had read a few reviews which got me really excited about this place but the reality was mundanity. I got a glimpse of the other dishes as we left – the mutton curry and the jerk chicken plate. Neither of them made me wish I’d ordered those instead. However, I must admit, the people next to us had ribs and wings and they enflamed food envy within me. I assumed a place that was Jamaican themed would do better on things that were Jamaican but perhaps the ‘cue is the way to go here. 

Yum Cha, 25th October

The final stop in my quest for soupy dumplings in London was Yum Cha, an age old recommendation from Secret London on Twitter, back when they still did that. Previously I've had good ones at leong's Legens but I wanted to see how these would fare in comparison so we popped there for dinner before the St vincent gig at the Roundhouse. The place is so well known for its dim sum that it serves it all day. luckily for us,

Despite its looks from the outside, this is no cheapo skanky place down an alley in Chinatown. It is tastefully decorated, warm and inviting, even though some of the staff are decidedly less so. 

I was here with the sole intent on having soupy dumplings but they don't make a whole meal so we had a few other bits and pieces too. To my great surprise Stephen had never had shredded duck with pancakes so we got some of those. You can never go wrong with this really and it was a tasty and generous portion of duck with just the right amount of pancakes and trimmings.

Our dim sum arrived in a stack of steamers. We had a perfectly tasty honey roast pork bun each. Nothing wrong with these two dishes but they were pretty much what you could get in any average Chinese restaurant. 

The soupy dumplings were served, unusually, without spoons, making me think there wasn't much soup inside them, and sadly lost quite a lot of it when I bit into one of the dumplings. I didn't make that mistake again and was pleasantly surprised by the amount of broth (and the fact that it didn't burn your mouth). I did miss the ritual of pouring the soup out but they were very tasty.

Even better were our szechuan minced pork and peanut dumplings. Absolutely divine, we wished we were smart enough to keep the sauce they came in to dip our other bits into. Salty, spicy, deeply flavoured. I'd love to duck in here on a cold day for a couple of servings of these.  

I don't know why we do it, but for some reason we decided to order something a little different - 'ribs' from the steamed dim sum menu. Had we given it more thought I think we would have realised that steamed ribs weren't going to be to our taste. The bones were cut into little chunks on the bone and steamed, meaning you had to chew off the mushy meat from off the bone. It wasn't a pleasant texture at all and a total bummer to end the meal on. 

Our dishes were in the 4-5 pounds range, except for the duck whic was a bit more, as it always is. Five dishes got us nicely full for the evening so we ended up paying about 15 quid each for dinner with drinks. Bargain!

Decompression, 24th October

Decompression is not really a clubnight and if you think of it as such you might not get the most out of it. What it is, is an opportunity for ‘Burners’ (people who go to Burning Man) and people who go to the European equivalent, Nowhere, to come together and ‘decompress’ after these events. To somewhat soothe their re-entry into everyday life after the experience that is these festivals. Now, I have never been to Burning Man or Nowhere so I don’t know how hard this would be, but luckily Decompression is open to anyone who is quick enough to buy a ticket and if you've ever thought you'd like to go to Burning Man, then you'd appreciate this night.

Your imaginary friend DID
look like this didn't it?

Everything is run by volunteers. I mean everything - the lighting, the staff and the decor. And all of the acts and music and DJs are provided by volunteers who also have to buy a ticket if they want to be there. Everyone is in it together – there are no freebies.

Which means that the quality of performance isn’t necessarily going to be the same as a professionally-run event where performers are paid for their time. But what it lacks in quality, the night more than made up for in terms of variety, and in love! Honestly, the type of people that go to this are some of the best in London and this is why I had such a good time. It started when we arrived. We had to wade through blue plastic curtains where ‘greeters’ grabbed us and hugged us enthusiastically, welcoming us to Decompression with phrases like ‘I’m so glad you could make it!’ and ‘How long has it been? So good to see you!’. If that doesn’t put a smile on your face I don’t know what will.

And so it continued – everyone you chatted to was smiley and friendly and every conversation I had ended with a hug if not also a kiss on the lips! Group love everyone.

There’s no dress code but it attracts a creative crowd so you’re free to express yourself however you want. Colour, glitter, nudity – whatever your style dictates you can flaunt it here.

Samba band

This year’s was held in the Coronet because it is so popular and it was a sell out. They made full use of all of the rooms. In the main arena there was a steady diet of different acts – Legs Akimbo had their Church there, we had a live samba percussion band (they were amazing) and some poy/light performances. Upstairs there was a bit of cabaret/burlesque going on in Murkin Wood which was quite fun (and weird - a head served in a McDs box ordered her gimp around in one act). There was a gameshow in one of the siderooms – a version of Blockbusters except, of course, all the letters stood for rude words - so it was called Cockbusters. I had never heard of wolfbagging before this and must admit, my life was probably all the better for that.

Suck my Rock responsible for Cockbusters

They had an acoustic room (a bit too cheesy for my liking) and a teddy bear’s picnic up at the top where you could get your face painted and snuggle a giant teddy while watching the main stage. And there were things going on all over the place on a smaller scale. While trying to find my friends I stumbled on a little table where you could sign up to have a ‘meal’ with someone else. I sat down and had a two courses – the first my fellow diner chose. I had only just met her. We chose the finger touch. We closed our eyes and touched fingers and wiggled them around for a bit. For our main course I made the selection and I chose a short massage, which I gave to her. Then someone started giving me one and before I knew it there were at least seven people standing in a massage static conga line.

The music varied with the acts and I know I missed out on the full range as I didn’t explore as much as some of my other friends. I believe there was soul, funk, electro swing, jazz, jungle, bouncy house, 90s as well as the live acts mentioned, to name but a few. Towards the end it flagged a little – even though there were so many rooms, each one seemed to have decided to play the same kind of generic house music, which I wasn’t really feeling and so I left a whole twenty minutes before the end.

So, as a clubnight it wasn’t the slickest but as an experience it was fantastic and I will definitely try to go again next year.  

Simmons and Shenanigans, 18th October

Goths have a secret. Emos, kinksters and other members of alternative subcultures, too. And I shall tell you what it is. They like cheesy music. But they can't just rock up to Club de Fromage or Guilty Pleasures in the garb they are wont to wear without getting a few weird looks. So they've created their own night where they can listen to all the music they like, wearing what they like, among likeminded people.

And this night is Shenanigans. I thought it sounded good with a list as long as my arm of music they play. The night was divided into different DJs and I assumed each DJ would play their preferred genre of music, and that the order of the DJs would have some bearing on how the night would go - maybe some indie to start easing into more poppy stuff as people got drunk, peaking with some 'EDM' (how I hate that term) or other harder stuff.

But it didn't go this way. We arrived at about 10 and people were already on the dance floor. You could tell the crowd was really up for it and that there were a lot of regulars there who knew each other. They were playing some harder rock stuff I didn't know, but that soon segued into the Kylie/New Order mashup. And then some Erasure. And then Boney M. Luckily this also included some Green Day and Violent Femms but I couldn't get my head round it, couldn't get settled into a groove. The music was all over the place. You can see their full setlists here. 

It was a loosely Halloween themed night but I got the feeling that most of the people there were just dressed how they would for any regular night of their choosing. There was a bit of a mixup of countercultures and while there was no nudity as far as I remember, there were definitely a few people who fell into the polyamorous category, all getting it on in a corner.

I felt like the night for me never really gelled. I couldn't get with the cheesier music or the way the genres hopped around. Maybe I just should have drunk more. It was certainly a popular night, but not my cup of tea.

Simmons

Speaking of tea cups, if you go to Simmons, that's exactly what you're likely to be drinking out of. They advertise a happy hour Sun-Fri until 9 pm, which has to be the longest happy hour I've come across. And, in addition the Happy Hour advertised, they seem to have it on a Saturday as well! I went to order a cocktail and was told it wasn't on the happy hour list so I should get something else, which I duly did - two Cosmopolitans in tea cups for £10. Not bad at all.

Simmons is quite a cutesy, eclectic place - you wouldn't expect a place that serves its cocktails in china to also have a huge skull disco ball but it does. From the outside it looks like some grubby old second hand furniture store - I didn't realise it was a bar until my friend told me it was. Inside, on a Saturday night it was heaving (which isn't hard - it's pretty small) and plays a pretty crowd-pleasing mix of danceable pop and RnB. Makes a pretty good pre-drinking spot if there are few of you enough to squeeze in.

Hash E8, 18th October

When I first saw the pics London the inside instagrammed from Hash E8 I got super excited. I immediately suggested we go and try it out, the very next weekend. Stat!

And so we did, this weekend falling on the one Saturday in about five weeks I’d been horridly hungover, and meaning I wasn’t able to get myself out of the house much before 3. (And I returned to bed straight after brunch.) So, was it worth leaving my bed for however briefly? Yes, I think so, although  it was a little rough around the edges.

They do brunch all day on weekends, and in the week as well, although they also do normal lunch options then. At the moment they only stay open until 5 but we were told they have plans to extend that and have their license all set up, they’re just still quite busy getting it all properly running. They must only be a few weeks old.

So, we rocked up just an hour before they shut. They have a couple of sweet options that sound delicious (stuffed French toast!) and many savoury options that sound equally tempting. They clearly also have a fondness for pig, with a piggy treat or option of adding one on nearly every dish. All music to my ears. Stephen had the special – a plate of pulled pork, potatoes, mushrooms and onions. I had the Hash benedict. With pork belly slice.

I sometimes think the foodie gods do not smile upon Stephen. I’m often more than happy with my choice while his is underwhelming. And so it was the case here, but mainly because the advertised mushrooms weren’t present, meaning his plate was a little meagre. We asked the waitress about this and she was duly mortified (especially as they’d kinda forgotten my pork, although it was brought out just as I was peering under my egg to see if it was there). They quickly rustled up a side of mushrooms with parsley, and Stephen added them to his plate. He said they made all the difference and seemed much happier after that. Our waitress (who was lovely, really) also gave us a complimentary diet coke each to make up for it.

But what about mine? Well, mine was pretty fab to be honest. Atop two fat, crispy hash browns sat a mound of kale, giving the dish a hefty iron tang, with two perfectly poached eggs. I highly recommend adding the belly pork – I got two bits which slotted easily under the eggs and gave the whole thing a nice salty, meaty high note. I was stuffed by the time I’d finished it all. The only thing that I would have added to both dishes was some hot sauce, but we could have just asked – we noted someone else did just that.

You are also welcome to add whatever sides you might want and pretty much every ingredient listed in the dishes can also be added as a side so you can mix and match to your heart’s content.

Hash itself just feels like a cute little café, not overly trendy, just basic and friendly. My seat had colourful astro-turf style upholstery but apart from water being served in milk bottles and a big slab with the special on it, there was no uber-quirkiness going on.

I think they may still be finding their feet but even with our little mishaps, I’m giving them the benefit of the doubt. Anywhere that does brunch all day is A-OK in my book, and I just have to try that French Toast!