This is a tale of how NOT to do a Dr. Sketchy.
First of all, if it’s happening at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern, like it did last night, don’t turn up early expecting to have a few drinks beforehand. The RVT as it is often known, is not a regular pub, open all day and hosting the occasional event. It is a venue ONLY open for events. Doors open whenever your event says the doors open, not before.
Secondly, even if it seems logical to sit at the back because there’s a large group of you and this area will accommodate everyone sitting together, don’t. Even though the RVT isn’t massive, it is big enough for the stage to feel quite far away. Not conducive to getting any facial details down, especially when you've had a few and everything looks a bit fuzzy anyway. Also, there are a few poles dotted around, and from where I was sitting they tended to block out at least a third of our subjects when they were posed.
Thirdly, take something to lean on! In my head I pictured us all sitting in the round with our subject in the middle, possibly wearing white smocks and berets, and with easels provided. This was a romantic notion purely based on sitcoms I have watched where a character takes an art class. In reality, it’s taking place in a pub, where there are lots of you and no room for easels. You are provided with some paper, some drawing materials and that’s it. Actually, there were a few boards available, but not enough for everyone.
Fourthly, don’t pick a hard-leaded pencil. Soft leads or chalk are much more forgiving and instantly make your works of art look much more like works of art. Smudges look professional and it is much easier to shade in large areas. I had an HB which, when Dusty was going around assessing our works, barely showed up in the dimly lit room. Not good.
Fifthly, probably better to drink more early on, than having a few throughout and then at the end practically downing two mini bottles of wine. That’s a good rule for a night out in general I find.
If you get these things right then you can just sit back, relax and enjoy the show. Or rather, sit up, pay attention, get drawing and enjoy the show. For there is a bit of a show element. Your host for the evening is Dusty Limits, a man whose reputation precedes him, in my case anyway, as I am always seeing his name mentioned in conjunction with cabaret nights and burlesque. He actually directed the phenomenal Prospero's Tavern that I saw by the Boom Boom Club. He is a consummate host and more than a little pleasing on the eye as you can see from my uncanny likeness of him here.
He starts things off by getting people ‘warmed up’ for drawing and explains that it’s not about ability, it’s about doing things your way. We have a scribble to get out any aggression and to just break the daunting first time you put pencil to blank paper. Then there’s an exercise where you have to draw without looking at the paper (see above for how well this comes out).
Then the first subject comes on. But she doesn’t just come on and assume a pose. She does a bit of an act first, in the guise, in this instance, of a mega-Rolf Harris fan (although, who isn’t one really - Jake The Peg - classic!), which involved a parody of “Part of Your World” from the Little Mermaid. It culminated in her stripping of her anorak and Rolf Harris t-shirt to reveal two little Rolf-heads covering her nips. She wasn’t the best singer in the world, but she’s got good comedy timing, the song was funny and it’s always nice to see some tits.
Then it’s time to draw – first two minutes getting a feel for her (FOR her, not OF her). Then a different pose, and a “theme” to encompass into the drawing. This time “wind storm”.
Then another five minute drawing, which I liked the most, where you start drawing Frankie von Flirter, our muse, and then Dusty starts telling you things you need to add to your scene – like killer bees, turning the setting into a jazz/poetry night, a tyrannosaurs rex is attacking her! And then she has to contend with Hilary Clinton! Sadly I seem to have misplaced most of my drawings from the night so I can't share the masterpiece I created with this scene. I may not have won any chocolate coins or tiny snowmen but I was still proud of it.
You see, what I didn’t realise before I went was that there is an element of competition involved. After every round Dusty comes over and judges you, sorry, I mean judges your composition and you may get a reward if you’re sufficiently good, or sufficiently atrocious. I like to think I’m somewhere in the middle and this is probably why I got bubkus the whole night.
At the end of the evening you can submit your best/worst work for a chance to win a grand prize, which I think was some sweets and maybe, a diary. Big prizes folks!
There wasn't just Frankie, there was a little eye-candy for the girls (and guys of a certain persuasion) apart from the luscious Dusty. For the second act we had a model who was dressed as a sailor. This guy was a little hard to draw as he kept moving around. That's my excuse for the below, anyway.
Also, he didn't get one single piece of kit off, despite us loudly hinting that he should. Disappointing. But Dusty promised that there would be some man stripping in the next half. We waited eagerly.
After another round of drinks out came a man-pilot strutting to Highway to the Danger Zone! But... wait a minute. "He" looks a little slight and his mustache isn't convincing. No, it's miss Frankie again! She does another striptease, this time to "Take my Breasts Away", and very funny it is again too so despite my dismay at not seeing any man-abs, I'm enjoying it anyway.
Dr Sketchy is a really fun night. I would strongly encourage drinking, as does Dusty, and not worrying about how well you can draw. Of course, if you do have talent then it is still going along because drawing is the name of the game for this night. They just don't let it detract or spoil the fun.
I was incredibly impressed with the Wonderground setup in general. I expected something a lot flimsier. The show was held in the spiegeltent, which looked like a big red top once inside, with a stage at the back, and a bit of a catwalk leading to a circular stage at the front where the performers did their stuff. We ended up sitting beside the catwalk – I had faith that they wouldn’t have an in-the-round setup if they weren’t good at performing in the round, and on the whole they were, but I think sitting facing the stage probably would have been a tad better. Some of the performers, such as Pirate Phil (an ex-banker who had seen the light and told us about it in song) and the kitty cat – a striptease artist, did roam the audience somewhat, but being nearer the stage and at the front, all in all was beneficial.
The show is very polished, the performers are top class. It’s visually impressive with some great costumes – and it’s sexy. Unfortunately no photography was allowed so you have to go see it yourself to see what I mean.
There was a very loose backstory which tied the acts together and also gave their actions some purpose. The night was called Prospero’s Tavern and the people who came on stage were either regulars of the Tavern or connected to Prospero (of the Tempest fame) in some way. For example, Miranda, his daughter, who was ‘drunkenly’ heckling Prospero for the first half of the act, was allowed to come on stage and ‘embarrass herself’. And of course, being intoxicated, she was stumbling and falling all over the place, the perfect ruse to allow her to twist and turn herself inside out, for she was in fact a contortionist. Or when a quarrel broke out between two sailors who incorporated their acrobatics into their choreographed fight. They deftly swore at and punched each other in between somersaults and some very impressive balancing acts.
There were a couple of amusing songs and even a singalong at one point. The hour went by far too quickly. I could really see why the Boom Boom Club has the reputation it does and I imagine most other acts I will see of this ilk will pale in comparison. Certainly those I’ve seen before so far do not even hold a candle to this. I am going to La Reve next week though, who have been going for quite some time and also have a very good reputation so we shall see how they compare.
One of the highlights for me was ‘The King’ hula hooping to some of his greatest hits. This doesn’t sound like much but I was transfixed by what this tubby little guy dressed a bit like Elvis could do with a hoop. Did I say ‘a’ hoop? I mean several hoops at the same time, even manipulating them to start at his waist and then travel off in different directions. His finale was to hoop with upwards of 20 all at once! He looked like a giant slinky. I fear I am not doing this act justice but it was jaw dropping.
I was also completely seduced by the woman who performed one of the burlesque stripteases. Or, rather, I should say, the woman who was stripped and molested by the possessed hand that tormented her. I think this probably needs explanation. Through a clever fake appendage, she made it look like her hand was a severed malevolent being (like an evil version of Thing from the Addams Family) which was attacking her – first it was being a bit of a sex pest, groping her here and there, then it took an even more sinister turn, choking her to the ground and then reviving her with a tickle to her nether regions. It was funny, creepy, weirdly convincing, and she was utterly gorgeous.
After the show is over, you are all invited to clear out so they can move the chairs away, and then you’re called back in for the ‘after party’ should you wish to stay. This only happens after the Thursday, Friday and Saturday performances and is an extra £5. It might be very different on a Friday or Saturday when people don’t have work to think about the next day, but the majority of the audience last night did not return for the afterparty and the atmosphere was muted. Most of my group wanted to stick around though - after all, we had paid the extra and we were promised live music and two more performers who hadn’t been in the show. We danced around a bit to the music, even though few others did, watched the other two performers (a fire hula-hooper, and a girl doing swinging hoop acrobatics) and stayed until the last song. Overall though, I wouldn’t say you should feel hard done by if you happen to go on a night when the afterparty isn’t an option.
If you like this kind of stuff, you will love the Boom Boom Club. And if you don’t, you should still go – this might change your mind. Brilliant.
