Crossfire, 12th October

I'm becoming quite the old hand at these Northern Soul nights (read: I've been to two before this one) and have a reasonable idea of what to expect. Namely lots and lots of people who clearly live and breathe the scene, and some great music, none of which I recognise.

Crossfire on Saturday fit this bill a treat but with the exception of it being on a much larger scale. Run by the same people who do Mousetrap (the New Untouchables) this was an EVENT. Held only twice a year, this all nighter which went from 10pm until 6 am spread across three rooms. One was garage, one was RnB and one was - well, I forget and it didn't make much difference to me as I'm not expert enough to have been able to discern the differences in each room. One of them also had a live band which seemed fairly decent and was drawing quite a crowd - so we went somewhere there was more room to dance! I'd never heard of 229 The Venue before hearing about Crossfire but it's a pretty large venue in the middle of London (by Great Portland Street) and they seem to have live music of retro-type events on every day of the week. Inside it's not particularly glamorous but it has the key features you need from a dance club - a bar and a dance floor. 

Everyone apart from my motley crew was dressed to the nines in their best mod gear. We went to the Albany for a drink beforehand and it wasn't difficult to spot which people we'd be seeing again over the road with all the Paul Wella-esque haircuts, beehives and turned up trousers revealing brightly-coloured socks underneath. 

Given the number of people who are clearly quite serious about the Northern Soul lifestyle, there's no attitude and we all felt perfectly comfortable being there. That might have been different had we eschewed the clearly printed rule stating 'No Drinks on the Dance Floor'. Because of course, the people are here for the music and to dance to that music. It's a serious business - the floor is sprinkled with talc to ensure maximum gliding ability for all the shuffle footwork that takes place. A spilled drink would ruin the effect.

There were some quite amazing moves happening on the dance floor and once again, almost everyone seemed to have that combination of moving like you're completely absorbed in the music but still looking completely authentic down pat. I wondered again if such swaying and shuffling requires much practice, or if people are so enthralled to the spirit of the 60s, it just comes naturally to them. 

My feet had started hurting before I even got into the club so I didn't do as much dancing as I would have liked, and I must admit, I would have preferred it if I recognised some more tunes. Having said that, apparently the number of Northern Soul records in existence is very small so if I keep going to these nights I will become more and more familiar with them and potentially rack up some 'favourites' in my mind. In the meantime it's just enjoyable feeling like you have stepped back in time. 

Imaginarium, 28th September

A couple of Saturdays ago was my first time at an Imaginarium party but if they're always like the one I went to, it surely won't be my last. It was such a fun, friendly and inclusive party to be at! Imaginarium describes itself as a fetish party from outer rave space and is another one where dressing up is strongly encouraged but they're a bit more relaxed about the dress code. They want you to look good but it's not a competition and you won't be judged on how far you've gone. They realise that some costumes can cost a fortune, or that people who are interested in coming might not have the confidence to wear very extreme outfits. 

I probably fit into the former category - after spending a lot of time and effort thinking about what to wear to Torture Garden a couple of weeks before, an outfit for Imaginarium was a bit of an afterthought and I had to throw something together from what I had. My outfit had a tenuous relation to the Japanese theme at best but I still felt like I somewhat looked the part once we got there. Some of the outfits were absolutely stunning but only official photographers were allowed to take pictures so you will have to check out their Facebook page for those. 

The night was held at Union, normally a gay club in the gay clubbing mecca that is Vauxhall. Nowhere was this more evident than in the 'Red Light Deck' play room upstairs where there were several cubicles with real-life gloryholes in them! But I digress.

We got there at a little before 12 and after getting a drink had a wander. There were only two rooms - the front was purely for dancing, and the back, which opened at midnight was for more dancing but also had some performers as well. I think I missed most of these apart from some light-sabre type baton twirling and some glo-poi work, so engrossed was I elsewhere. Even with six hours to play with, the time seemed to fly by too quickly to do and see everything!

In keeping with the Japanese theme, quite a few of my friends were delighted to see they had installed some old-style video games for guests' delight. Much as I appreciated that, I have never been any good at video games so didn't get involved. 

Upstairs was the place to go if you were into getting dirty. When we first wandered up there, there was nothing going on, but once the place got into full swing (pun intended) it was a hive of activity. Threesomes, bondage, domination - it all seemed to happen at one point or another, and many were very happy to welcome participants into the mix, or at the very least have a chat to curious parties.

If you wanted a little more privacy then the cubicles did have doors on them and no one would take offense at not being included.

I had an absolute blast (and may have fulfilled some 'things to do' you won't find on this List!) and I thank the organisers and other guests for making it such a good night. I also really enjoyed going to a slightly smaller venue for once. It meant you bumped into the same people time and again and naturally fell into conversation with them. At the end of the night you were wishing people well as if you'd known them months not hours. And the music was a great mix of upbeat house and drum and bass that went on to the very last minute (6 am). Even the DJ was going for it on the dance floor right at the end.

If I had to make one clubnight in this vein (mix of dancing and kink) my night of choice and foresake all others then so far, Imaginarium so far would be it!

Passing Clouds, 22nd June

I have a momentous announcement to make... *drum roll*... I can now solve magic eye puzzles! I could move it around and still see the image and everything! *crowd goes wild*. Ok, this may not seem like such a big deal but, apart from now being privy to the wonder that is these images (I was genuinely impressed by the illusion), it also meant I bagged myself tickets to Passing Clouds on Saturday. And that WAS something to get excited about.

Passing Clouds has been on my List for ages and then when I went to STK a while ago, and loved it, I heard that it was in a similar vein and that made me want to go even more. I saw that Gabby Young and Other Animals were playing on Saturday, a band Stephen had already seen before and wanted to see again. So we would have gone that night anyway, but the fact that I managed to win tickets made it seem like it was fated to be.

After a quick drink in the Haggerston (a convenient place to pop in before Passing Clouds given its proximity) we went round the corner and I gave my name to the guy in the booth, who then seemed utterly delighted I had turned up and passed over to me the goody bag I'd also won.

This contained a voucher for two free cocktails and, what some might call, a bunch of tat, but others might call essential accessories for a night of 'raving'. The night I went to was Cloud Factory Adventures and the theme was summer-solstice-festival-technicolour-rave. Dressing up as colourfully as possible, as if you were going to a festival or proper rave was encouraged. I brought glow sticks. They gave me more glow sticks. Glow sticks were in abundance. And a feather boa, and some glasses that turned all the lights into 3D hearts (loved them!) and a flashing key ring - and a trophy! Lots of fun.

The place was similar in feel to STK, but felt a bit more like a proper venue than just a warehouse that happens to host events. The downstairs area was where the main stage and acts were, and then upstairs was a bit of a hippy haven, with colourful decor - scarves and umbrellas hanging all over the place and a cocktail bar, and a smaller stage area that was being used as a dance floor. There was a circle that people were being urged to dance in the middle of and they were playing some RnB.

We knew Gabby was on at midnight so at about quarter to we went downstairs where, if I'm not mistaken (and I may well be) they played Duelling Banjos before the band came on. She was supposed to be performing with only three of the normal band but somehow there were still five of them on stage. I thought they were really good - her voice was amazing - I don't know what you'd call their music but it fits somewhere between electro and gypsy swing I'd say, with lots of brass and even some audience participation.

After that music veered into more RnB/dubstep and dancehall. I loved it!

The vibe was what you'd expect from an artsy warehouse kind of space. Friendly, full of love, some crazy outfits, everyone having a good time. Drinks were a pretty standard price and a lot of it (if not everything) was organic. (Maybe that's why I had such a hangover - I'm used to more chemicals!)

Even my notoriously hard-to-please boyfriend liked the place and has said he'd go back. That makes two of us.

Electro Swing, 20th April

Sometimes you go on a night out and it is so exhilarating it leaves you smiling all the next day. Electro Swing on Saturday night was a night like that.

Now, I do think a lot of credit has to go to the people I was out with - a lovely bunch who were up for making the most of the night and not afraid to get dancing. People after my own heart. But the music on the night must take it’s due.

Vintage nights are all the rage at the moment, and most have some sort of musical aspect to them – music from the era, or more likely, modern songs done in a vintage style. Electro swing takes that and turns it on its head. It uses vintage music – swing, jazz – and puts modern beats behind it. Any kind of modern beat will work as long as it is skilfully done. So, after a slightly out of character ease in with The Cure’s The Love Cats, we gradually entered the world of Electro Swing – a world where you could easily be dancing to a classic house beat one minute, then a jungle track the next, all with this slightly surreal old-timey music over the top. It’s very high energy, it’s infectious, the crowd loved it and so did I. And anyone remember the Doop song? I didn’t until it cropped up in the set either. It fit in seamlessly with the ethos of the night.

Upstairs, was a quasi-silent disco happening. It wasn’t silent, but there were headphones being handed out (if you were lucky enough to get one) that you could wear on whichever floor you wanted and tune in to either the music being played at the bar or the electro swing downstairs. I thought this was a little odd, as one of the fun things about being in a silent disco is the silent part when you take your headphones off, but whatever, people seemed to be enjoying themselves.

Downstairs in the increasingly sweaty basement where the main event was taking place, there was a makeshift stage in front of the DJs which people eagerly clambered onto. The place was absolutely rammed. It’s clearly a popular night – it used to happen monthly at the Book Club but they seemed to have taken a sabbatical from it for a while – I kept my eyes peeled for months before I noticed they were back and perhaps it was so full as people were making the most of this rare opportunity. Or perhaps it is just a testament to the popularity of The Book Club, no matter what night is on.

And now, please join me in a rant...

As I have attested before, I have a bit of a love affair with The Book Club. I love the variety of nights it holds, the venue is cool, the street parties it hosts are fun. But that love affair has soured somewhat.  For while Electro Swing exceeded all expectations, leaving me with a surplus of good vibes, The Book Club failed to live up to my own expectations and seriously marred my evening, due to the rather puzzling behaviour of the head door man.

Last night was actually a Meetup I was hosting and I had already entered the club with around 20 or so people but a few people had yet to join us. I got a text from one of them saying they weren't being allowed entry.

There had been a misunderstanding about how the three of them knew each other and for some reason this was cause enough to deny them entry. Naturally they weren't very happy about this as they had done nothing wrong. Everyone knows you cannot antagonise the door staff; sadly, they hold all the power and it doesn't matter how irrational, or how petty or how just plain wrong they are, they have the final call on whether your night sinks or swims. And should you have the gall to voice your opinion on their behaviour within ear shot, then apparently that is also a valid enough reason to refuse you entry (presumably because their feelings have been hurt - bouncers seem to be unnaturally thin-skinned). I had come out and explained what the situation was – but to deaf ears. The bouncer had been ‘insulted’ and no explanation or even apology would persuade him to change his mind. There was no one else I was allowed to talk to about this. It didn’t matter that if he'd been reasonable to begin with, no angry words would have been uttered at all. In any other customer-facing arena the fact that once the situation was explained and he could see that he’d been in the wrong, we would have probably, in fact, been let in and offered an apology. But no, not when it comes to door staff.

I was in a bit of a bind – I had 20-odd other people whose night I didn’t want to spoil by taking them out of the Book Club, with no Plan B, or I had to let these three go off and try to find something else to do – three people I felt responsible for. In the end they went with good grace towards me, luckily Shoreditch isn’t short of places who would welcome their custom. But it left a bitter taste in my mouth and it took me a while before the magic of Electro Swing could sway me out of the funk. There is a lot to be said for how much feelings of frustration and injustice can prey on you.

I know the Book Club isn’t the only venue guilty of having bouncers that are Little Caesars. If I swore never to set foot in any venue at which I'd been less than impressed by the door staff I would spend most of my Saturday nights drinking in my flat. But I will certainly pause for thought before going here again, and if any other venue is holding a similar night, I would choose that venue over this. Perhaps the disappointment is greater because I had held the Book Club in such high regard.

Itchy Feet (Dance Academy), 11th April

I have been saying for ages that I’d love a chance to swing … dance that is! (ha ha ha… sooo hilarious) Or jive. Or lindy hop. Any of those moves that drive me green with envy when I go to a retro night and watch everyone else who seems to know what they’re doing and just look so damn good doing it tearing up the dance floor. (And some of them go pretty quickly - you need to be pretty brave to venture on there.)

And I know there are plenty of places offering lessons in such things, but I wasn’t sure about going to proper lessons on my own (my boyfriend not being inclined to join me).

During one of my customary sweeps of my List to see if anything on there is coming up soon, I discovered that Itchy Feet run something they call a Dance Academy, where they teach you some jive-type moves! Not only this, but rather like Dr Sketchy, where the focus is on the drinking rather than the drawing, there was a heavy emphasis on the cocktail side of things. They said you can turn up without a partner and it all seemed geared toward the curious amateur. It sounded perfect.

I organised a Meetup to it, so there were quite a few of us going. We had a couple of drinks beforehand for some dutch courage and then went into the Book Club where we had a couple more just to be on the safe side. I don’t need to document here my love of the Book Club, least of all because I will be back there fairly soon to give my judgement on Electro Swing which is hosted there sporadically. I love the Book Club for its eclectic lineup of events and tasty drinks.

Anyway, so we were all down in the basement waiting for the lessons to start. Only 100 tickets are sold for this, which doesn’t sound like many but actually showing some dance moves to such a number in not a huge space is a bit tricky, and the group had to be split in two and take turns. (This gave everyone plenty of time in between to either practise what they’d just learned, or have another drink and start to forget it.)

You lined up with your partner across the aisle from you and the girl first showed us two basic moves – the first of which I didn't catch the name, the other the box step. We then practised this on our own until we felt a bit silly. Then we advanced towards our partners, and attempted to mesh what we had been doing with what they had been doing. I must say, I had quite an accomplished partner and we seemed to be doing rather well at it.

Our instructor then went slowly through the moves of incorporating a turn, and even this didn’t put us off our stride. She went around the room to check on the couples and give little pointers if needed, but I’m pretty sure she uttered a ‘whoop!’ when she went past us. *smug much*

Then it was a break and the next lot were taught what we’d now ‘perfected’.

I had an aperol spritz, a cocktail I’d just discovered at a wedding and went through some of the steps again. Dressing up is optional but if you don’t have anything to hand to wear, Itchy Feet provide a little treasure trove of accessories and whatnot to jazz up your outfit and the breaks in between give you a chance to rummage a little – just remember to return what you’ve borrowed!

Soon enough our group was called back to the floor.

This time, the instructor was a little sneaky. We lined up as before, but she took one of the girls from the girl side down to the other end of the line thus ensuring weshifted along by one and had a new partner to work with. I ended up with some guy I didn’t know, whose girlfriend was next to me. Naturally - because the likelihood was that you were dancing with someone you didn’t know - this was when the instructor introduced the most intimate move we’d learned all night; a back turn that lead you to being pulled into your partner. The guy I was dancing with wasn’t quite as savvy as my previous partner, but he was fun and friendly, and luckily so was his girlfriend who didn’t seem to mind us practicing such moves on each other. One of my friends reported she was in a similar situation and the girlfriend next to her wasn’t as happy about it, snatching her man back as soon as possible!

After the second group had had their go that was that. We’d learned as much as we were going to that night and I was satisfied with that amount. We’d been practising our moves to some 50s music and that music continued after the lesson was over. Almost immediately everyone's just-gleaned knowldge was thrown out the window and they resorted to stock 50s moves like the ‘mashed potato’ and the ‘twist’ but a few of us tried to consolidate our learning for next time. The music was top notch – all recognisable rock n roll classics of the era – some Elvis, some Little Richard, Do You Love Me from the Dirty Dancing soundtrack. All stuff it was hard to resist dancing to.

I’d definitely recommend the Itchy Feet Dance Academy to anyone who wants to get into this kind of thing but is hesitant to start. I’d go again myself though I don’t know if they teach different things each time. It really is for the complete beginner. Still – it remains to be seen whether I’ve definitely remembered the moves and if I’ve forgotten I’d certainly go back for a refresher course. And of course, having had a taster of the kind of music they play, I will also make sure to go to one of their regular Itchy Feet parties.

Last Tuesday Society, 16th March

The Last Tuesday Society's masked Orphanage ball is a rather spiffing, titillating way to spend an evening. The dress code is masks mandatory, clothing optional, although it is a ball, dahling, so they do expect you to make an effort.

I slightly butchered a bridesmaid's dress I had to make it even more flouncy and fanciful and of course I shopped very carefully for the mask to accompany it. If you turn up without one, they slap you with a ten pound "fine" which then gets you a mask for the evening.

Once you're in you are allowed to remove it, which is handy as there's a lot to see and do and sometimes a mask can rather obscure your view.

This night took place in one of their regular haunts - the members' club on Adam Street. You descend some stairs to find a chocolate fountain gushing in a corner, a room with a bar for dancing and mingling, an adjacent room where there is a DJ (who was blasting the finest in classical music when we arrived) for more dancing, a smaller room where the "menagerie" was housed, and then a room in which "instruments of torture" were available for anyone to have a play, as well as a cage.

Downstairs was where the dance lesson took place (that I missed out on) and where you could get portions of borscht, pickled vegetables and Russian (I'm guessing) pastries. When I went by to get myself a snack the borscht was still being warmed, not ready for another ten minutes and I'm sad to say I didn't remember to go back and get some. No matter, I certainly made the most of the chocolate fountain and I was very impressed wiht the dipping selection - marshmallows, fruit and best of all pretzels and little biscuits from which you could make your very own Flipz and choccy digestives. Amazing. I made a bit of a glutton of myself, which proved somewhat embarrassing when I then went into the menagerie to have a stroke and a play with the beasties in there.

Someone making friends with one of the snakes

Being passed around the room were two lizards, two snakes and a hairy tarantula. I stayed well away from that but had a pet of one of the lizards - letting it stalk across my hand a couple of times before it was claimed back by the guy who'd grown attached to it, and I was completely charmed by one of the snakes. Someone chose to turn the lights out and when they came back on, my friend alerted me to something nasty-looking on my hand. Yes, snake poo. Actually, no, not snake poo. To my shame, it was chocolate from the fountain all over my hand. Wresting myself from the entrancement of the snake wending it's way around we went over to the next room and had a play around in the cage, posing like pent-up prisoners.

The torture playthings were rather basic - anyone who's been to Antichrist or Torture Garden I'm sure would consider them rather tame, if not lame, but the crowd at this place weren't hardcore S & Mers and the 'toys' did what they were supposed to do - provided a frisson of eroticism to the night. One contraption required you to kneel into it so that your posterior was exposed, all the better for a light spanking. The other was an X-frame that you were strapped into while the "punisher" spanked you with hand, or with cane. I didn't get trussed up myself, but my friend had a whale of a time on it. I was given a couple of cheeky whacks with the cane afterwards. It was up to you how man-handled you wanted to be and how much sting you wanted to feel - your bare cheeks could be exposed or you could insist on remaining fully clothed. Naturally bare cheeks added to the thrill of it.

Downstairs there was a band playing gypsy swing, although they also made an appearance upstairs for a while. And the music which took you through to the end of the evening was 50s rock n roll. 

It was definitely something a little different, especially with the animal element. There were a few naked people, as is customary at these things, and though it probably wasn't the most debauched party in the world, it did make you feel a little 'Eyes Wide Shut'. Everyone made an effort, and masks being mandatory gave the party an air of mystery and I daresay relieved people of their inhibitions somewhat. For a little decadence in your life, head to one of these. 

Bearded Kitten, 8th March

If you like a dance, then Bearded Kitten is for you. If you like a little bit of interactive improv, then Bearded Kitten is for you. If you like grooving to a live band from your childhood, then Bearded Kitten is for you. Whether house, hip hop or 80s classics, Bearded Kitten manages to be for you.

After missing out on last year's Around the World party, I wasn't going to make the same mistake this year and snapped up my ticket as soon as they announced this year's Story of Life party. Last year, you were taken around the world, stopping off for exotic and multicultural entertainment along the way (or so I'm told). This year, you were invited to take a journey through life instead. 

Starting with 'being born' which involved walking through a tenuously decorated womb and vagina opening, the first area you came to was childhood. Here you could 'playfight' with some oversized soft gloves in the crib and get into the 'baby bouncers'. These were bungee harnesses and two at a time could get in and bounce into each other or one could just bounce as far as the stretchy rope would allow!

Of course, like any good creche, there was a bar at the back.

The next stage of life to travel through was found in the next room where you could get some careers advice or recreate that old staple of bad behaviour at the office, by having a body part of your choice photocopied. I, rather unsuccessfully tried to do my boobs, but only managed to fit one on. One of my friends told me she had seen someone photocopy his bare penis. Careers advice consisted of either being assigned a job, or telling a couple of officials what you'd wanted to be when you were a child. You were then interviewed by the specialist consultants who would approve your career choice. (Only after you had proved to them somehow - in my case, interpretive dance - that you were fully qualified.) 

On to the next phase then, and by now you've probably copped off with someone at the office party and are well ensconced in Settled Downsville - time to get married! So the next room was decked out as a wedding chapel, and for quite a bit of the night the music in here was decidedly and intentionally wedding disco. Throughout the night the preacher would also get up on stage and 'marry the crowd'. He was definitely of the evangelical school when it came to faith and was whooping the crowd up to love their brothers and Praise Be!

The main room (the family room) was beyond this and was where the live acts were as well as a mahoosive sofa. First, our comperes were two big babies, who introduced who else but Musical Youth  (see - Youth - it all fits) who serenaded the crowd with some classic reggae anthems before finishing the set with Pass the Dutchie. I was beside myself, this being one of my favourite childhood songs (what that says about what my parents listened to in front of us I don't care to analyse). There followed an interlude here of some pretty heavy hip hop - I'm sure Dead Presidents featured, before Crazy P graced the decks at some point. 

We spent the evening wandering around all the various places so there were definitely acts and genres of music we missed in each room as they didn't strictly adhere to one or the other. By the end of the evening they were more or less all playing a form of house music, but even this was different between the rooms - with the baby room playing remixes of some old school RnB, such as Aaliyah (I loved it!).

But I haven't even finished yet - not content with the representing the high points of life, there were also areas to represent when life tails off. What would ordinarily be the chill out zone was, in the Story of Life, a retirement home. Here there was meant to be soup and bingo but either this didn't happen or we weren't around when it did. Whenever I popped in, it was fairly empty and unnecessarily realistically cold.

And then finally there was a small funeral parlour where you could have your own funeral ceremony. This was a rather popular area and when I went by I couldn't even fit into it. I was quite sad to have missed out on that bit - I've always thought eulogies are wasted on the dead.

There was probably even more other little bits and pieces that I didn't notice as we went from room to room,  depending on what music was satisfying our whimsy. Spotting what other people were wearing for their costimes (theme - favourite stage of life) was also a form of entertainment in itself. Lots of people in onesies and some impressively decrepit-looking pensioners raving around. 

The night took place at Pulse, and as you can guess it was a vast space. There was a bar in at least three of the rooms, which meant you didn't spend half the night queuing for a drink, and almost everything was priced at 5 pounds, keeping it simple. 

I had a really, really good night and can't wait to go to next year's. In the interim Bearded Kitten turn up at festivals such as Secret Garden Party, Lovebox and Glastonbury to provide interactive entertainment. If you're going to any festival at which they're in attendance, do check them out.

Plastic People, 25th January

So, I completely forgot that Plastic People was on my List and didn't blog about it. And my already hazy memory of the place is even fuzzier as time has dulled my recollection. This will be a short account.

I've actually been once before but got so bladdered I could barely remember it. So I figured it didn't count. I must admit, this time around wasn't much more of a success as my phone went missing when we'd barely been in there an hour. Not just my phone - my debit and oyster card too. My phone was sadly lost forever, but I have to say that Plastic People were lovely about helping me get my debit and oyster card back as it transpired they'd been handed in. We sent endless emails back and forth to arrange for me to pick them up, with the girl even offering to meet me somewhere halfway to make it easier! So I've been left with an overall positive view of the place despite it all.

So yeah, we ended up here after our meal at Viva and hanging out with *name drop* Gary Powell and his fiancee in Dalston Social where I think we stayed until about 2. We then tottered all the way into Shoreditch and to the club (there has been some debate about whether we in fact got a taxi, but our memory fails us).

After some persuading of the coat check lady to fit our coats in (we really didn't want to be carrying them around all night) we moseyed around the club. It was dark and I liked the vibe. The music they were playing was eminently dancable and soon enough my friend got chatting to a French person (her favourite pastime). So the people seemed cool as well - except for one guy who was so kind as to buy us a drink. How is that bad you say? He insisted we reimburse him afterwards! Not cool. Or chivalrous. We didn't ask him to buy us drinks!

And sadly, that is pretty much all we got up to before I reached into my bag and found nothing but a set of keys. I then spent a good long while looking round the club before abandoning my friend to re-walk the stretch we'd come down and then head home. On foot.

I guess I'll have to go back again some time. Third time's the charm eh?

Mousetrap...for Soul Shakers, 15th December

I didn't really think places like this existed. But I'm ever so glad they do.

I had a very detailed image in my mind of what I expected the venue to look like. I knew it was a wine bar and I basically imagined it as looking like Concrete in Shoreditch, but with wood panelling and low lights everywhere instead of, well, concrete.

It wasn't quite like this. Not quite the sleek, imposing wine bar, more of an underground little cavern. And by little I mean tiny. I don't think I have ever been to such a tiny club.

We arrived at a little after 11, in order to avoid having to pay a whole 2 pounds more after midnight than the 8 pounds we did pay to get in. It wasn't heaving as yet, but there were definitely quite a few people in there already, and more than a few of these were already on the dance floor. And they were really giving it some - authentic, willowy 60s dancing galore  in a way that seemed not quite on the beat that could only have been the result of a lot of practice. We almost felt guilty joining the dance floor and thus depriving them of the necessary room to throw down their shapes,. But this is probably why they got there so early - to have the luxury of having the whole dance floor to themselves while they could.

The bar was small and served usual pub drinks - as one of my friends was quick to point out, that meant no cocktails. Prices were normal for London bars - not cheap, but not inflated club prices.

It is touted as a Northern Soul night, and there were definitely a lot of people there who were very much into the scene, wearing clothes I can only assume were authentic vintage. But we didn't feel out of place as 'tourists' there, and all the staff were incredibly friendly. Take the cloakroom attendant below, for instance, who took his time to smooth out the creases and hang each and every coat with decorum.

You got the feeling that it's like a big family here, with a lot of regulars who know each other, and the staff. Well, it has been going 20-odd years in the same place! The night we went it was the DJ's birthday and there was free cake on the bar!

The music was fantastic. Mostly Northern Soul as expected but with some jazzier numbers thrown in. I hold my hands up - I didn't recognise a single song, but I didn't stop dancing. I've been places with better soundsystems (this is certainly no Funktion 1 a la Fabric), but if genuine soul and original R'n'B is what you're after then I think you'd be hard pressed to find a better night.

I really felt I'd been transported back in time to the heady days of the swinging 60s with all the hip cats and kittens. Groovy! (or another, probably more authentic slang of your choosing).

London Remixed Festival, 24th November

I was invited to review the London Remixed Festival and after taking a look at who would be playing and who was behind it, I thought I would be a fool to turn it down. So I didn't.

Wristbands were collected from Rich Mix, and while we were there we thought we'd see what kind of acts they had on. The downstairs was the African Rootmaster area, while upstairs was playing host to the Acoustic Boutique. The foursome on stage downstairs weren't doing much for us - a little too easy listening so we hopped into the "Disco Lift" to go upstairs.

Disco Lift Operator - (c) Gareth Reid

I wish all lifts could be like this - instead of an elevator operator you get some groovy dude playing music for your delightment while you travel between floors. We had something cheesy on the way up, and some D 'n' B on the way down!

Upstairs we came across one of the most truly unique acts I've seen in ... well... ever! His name was Ichi and he was a one-man-band. I don't know how many instruments he managed to go through in his set - there were really too many to count and too many to name, especially as some of them seemed to be handmade and wouldn't otherwise exist. He had bells on his feet, used a pedal to hit a drum, played a sort of banjo and 'sang'. He introduced each song but it was impossible to understand them. I'm really not sure if they were in English, Japanese, or other. It was very odd, but also transfixing. Almost impossible to describe, so just watch this video.

After he was through we had things we wanted to see in the Polka Tent at the Bedroom Bar so we went directly there. We were just in time to catch Cut A Shine leading the crowd in a barn dance. I get the impression they are used to bigger spaces to work in, and it was necessary to take out all the tables and chairs to allow just enough room for people to jig about.

Some of the dances were quite intricate and definitely not doable with a drink in your hand which means we didn't get involved in the first three or four. But we did dive in eventually. A dance which involved running in two massive circles, then doing some sort of dosey-do with several strangers until you got to 'lucky seven' with whom you just span around for a bit. It was exhilarating! I was beaming at the end of just one song. Actually, I didn't even make it to the end, it was so high energy, I was getting a right sweat on and decided to sit down to catch my breath. My other friends soon joined me, having the same idea. 

Cutting a rug with Cut A Shine - (c) Gareth Reid

We then went upstairs to catch the last bit of the Horndog Brass Band and we stayed up there to see some of the Monster Ceilidh Band as well. Both were good, but the MCB were a little on the quieter side compared to the Brass Band and Cut A Shine so we went downstairs to watch the last of Gypsy Hill, who I had seen at Rumpus recently and knew would be playing some upbeat foot-stomping sounds. We had a bit of a jig around to them before finishing off the night at the one destination we hadn't yet been to - the Latin Quarter at Village Underground.

Ska Cubano were playing when we got over there, the last act of the night at that venue. They were bloody brilliant, a great way to finish off the night. Everyone was in high spirits, the music was upbeat and fun. People were dancing around with smiles and abandon. 

Crowds at Ska Cubano - (c) Gareth Reid

I left this night on an absolute high, and really hope it becomes an annual event. The only negative thing really was that there were so many acts it was hard to see them all. I'd love to have been part of the 'walking taxi' with Perhaps Contraption for example (though I have seen them at White Mischief), or seen Molotov Jukebox.

Hopefully next time!

Dalston Superstore, 1st June

I had very different expectations of Dalston Superstore compared to the reality. I had heard that the door staff were unfriendly and if you didn’t dress to impress in your ultrahipster chic or weren’t gay, you wouldn’t get in. I’m happy to say that in our experience (going with two straight guys who while yes, are technically dressed, could never be said to be dressed for anything, let alone impressing) that couldn’t have been further from the truth. Granted, we did go quite early (around 11 pm) in order to avoid the crowds, given that it was a free night but we were greeted with smiles and let right in.

The night in question happens downstairs monthly at Dalston Superstore on a Friday. It is called BREED and is hosted by Rex the Dog, a DJ who my friend is a fan of. The ‘superstore’ could more aptly be described as a ‘minimart’. It’s tiny. The bar area upstairs was adorned with dogs in reference to BREED I assume and is pretty small and narrow. The club downstairs is bigger but still fairly intimate.  I had been picturing some sort of converted warehouse that didn’t look dissimilar to the large Indian supermarket on Brick Lane. For some reason, the fact that they do food only reinforced my false impression, picturing as I was a space large enough for several picnic tables upon which skinny, bearded people tucked into pancakes and OJ. Perhaps it shouldn’t, but my expectations of the venue influenced the kind of night I thought it would be. I imagined dancing with abandon in wide spaces until the early hours. This venue leant itself more to bopping about and sometimes bopping into other people, which is always a good excuse to say hello and make friends.

Dalston Superstore is a gay club and it couldn’t be more evident when you go upstairs. They had a tranny DJ playing poptastic dance stuff (I think they played Hot Chip when I ordered my whore’s handbag cocktail [had to be done – and it was delicious]). Less than two hours later the upstairs bar was absolutely rammed – mostly full of skinny bearded guys snogging each other while the DJ announced that he preferred it bareback in the 90s. But the club is ‘straight friendly’ and my two friends dancing downstairs felt perfectly comfortable.

I have no complaints about the night – it was fun, but it wasn’t AMAZING. It probably doesn’t help that just a week later I went to Krankbrother’s Street Party after party and that absolutely smashed it, making my night in Superstore seem tame by comparison. In fact I think I even left before the place closes which I almost never do! However, I did have fun and I enjoyed the music both upstairs and downstairs so I wouldn’t rule out going back; I just didn’t fall in love with the place.  

Stumblin' Slims, 31st March

I can't remember how I heard about Stumblin' Slims. Probably through looking at the Blues Kitchen's website, a bar in Camden that I've been to before. Anyway, I had heard about it and had been considering going to Stumblin' Slims for New Year's Eve, when we decided against it in favour of something more 'clubby'. But I still wanted to go at some point, especially after watching Hairspray over Christmas and getting in a jive kinda mood.

So when their next night came up, at Concrete, I booked tickets as soon as they went on sale, nabbing early bird tickets at merely a fiver. It was just as well. I had no idea how popular the night was, and they sold out of all tickets at least a week before the night was on.

Stumblin Slims has been described as "a cross between a prom night and a late night drag race" (Guardian) though I think that's just them using some 50s vernacular for the sake of it. I saw no sign or cars or corsages. It is a fun night though of great music and people dancing their socks off. There was a good number of people dressed up in some form or other in 50s/rockabilly gear, and when we entered (at 10:45) they had a girl on hand to do people's hair and makeup if you needed it, though she had disappeared only a few minutes later when we went to put our coats away.

When we arrived the live band was on and loads of people were dancing – the dance floor was packed and we were forced into bopping about on the edges. The band were just a three piece but they created a massive sound and played a crowd-pleasing selection of tunes. In fact, it was quite disappointing when the band stopped and the DJ came on. There was a palpable shift in atmosphere as the band finishing coincided roughly with last-tube time and the place emptied out a little. The sound system at Concrete isn’t that great either which also lead to a bit of a deflation in ambience. We rode out the transitory period, and by the time Stephen and I left at a little past one, I would say that the party had picked up and was going full swing again. The music seemed a little louder than it had been, and you couldn’t fault the songs they were playing. If I hadn’t been starving, I would have happily stayed until the very end. At this point I would love to list the various tunes that were played but can't remember any specific titles. Suffice to say, it was some good old fashioned rock 'n' roll.

I’m not sure how I feel about Concrete as a venue. Stephen liked it – thought it was just the right size, but I find the low ceilings a bit oppressive, and as I mentioned, they don’t exactly have a top-end sound system. However, they play host to lots of different and interesting nights so I am sure I will find myself back here more often than not. I am pleased to report that, after the coat queue fiasco at Deviation, that such an incident was not repeated. 

YoYo at Notting Hill Arts Club, 6th October

Another one I read about in Time Out’s 1000 Things to Do and one I have been very keen to get to. Unfortunately the only people I know who I thought would like to accompany me to this live elsewhere and I had to wait for the arrival of one of these friends to coincide with a Thursday night. Happily, this happened while Alison was here and she is into a bit of hip hop, r n b and general bass-heavy music that constitutes YoYo. I was very excited. Yet I had some trepidation. We had ended up at The Social the Wednesday before at their hip hop night (we thought we were going to an indie night, but no matter) and we ended up infuriated with the place. Apart from the fact that there were far too many young nubile girls gyrating around for my liking, the music policy was gash. They played some great tunes, but only snippets of them. And the MC talked continuously over it all which meant you couldn’t get into a groove on the dance floor. We worried a bit that this was the way of things on nights like this, and we were perhaps too old, with longer attention spans than the youths of today, to appreciate it and ergo YoYo would be a disappointment. Unfortunately, it was just that.

We first met two of our friends at a lovely pub called The Champion not too far from Notting Hill tube station and drank copious amounts of a lovely Pinot Grigio. We were nicely liquored up when we made our way down into the club. Entrance is guestlist only but you still have to pay. I’d put our names down a couple of days before and we duly paid our £5 to get in. I quite liked the club. It was a good size and there was a good number of people in it. I was accosted several times by girls asking me if I had a spare hairband they could have, which I found quite strange, but that’s neither here nor there. What is, is the fact that they subjected us to the same ordeal that had befallen us at The Social. No more than 40 seconds or so of each song. We counted. If you’re familiar with the song What’s Your Fantasy by Ludicris and L’il Kim – sing/rap the chorus of that and that’s how long they played each song for. How are you expected to dance to that? We couldn’t. I like mashups and remixes but this was too much.  We had more tequilas and tried our best but it didn’t work. I was very sad about this night. Very sad. And then at the end it got a bit electro/housey, which I like but it’s not what I expected from that night. Clearly we had to go back to the hotel and drown our sorrows.

The List - CLUBBING

Welcome to one of my favourite lists and the one it seems to take me longest to achieve as I'm no young pup anymore and so clubbing is a fairly rare thing these days. Still, I am striving to get to them all before I deem myself too old and too disgraceful to go anymore. There is a mixture of weekly clubs and monthly/one off events here.

Aquarium

Bedroom Bar

Catch

T Bar

Ghetto/Trash Palace

Images

Star of Bethnal Green (read about it here)

Southside Bar

South London Pacific

Amersham Arms

Buttoned Down Disco

333

Fabric

Guanabara

Moonlighting

Coronet Theatre

Egg

East Village

Dex

Cable

Horse and Groom

Heaven

Plastic People

Area (read about it here)

Corsica Studios

Paramount

YoYo at Notting Hill Arts Club (read about it here)

Bethnal Green Working Men's club (read about it here)

The Nest

Los locos

Zebrano

Proud2

Steamboat bordello

White mischief (read about it here)

The drop (closed - now opened as The Waiting Room)

The loft

The star of kings (read about it here)

Dalston superstore (read about it here)

Village underground

Slimelight

Torture garden

The dolphin

Chessboxing

Deviation (read about it here)

Ye olde axe (read about it here)

Prohibition (read about it here)

Blitz party

Rumpus (read about it here)
Ministry of Sound
The baby bathhouse (read about it here)
McQueen's
The Russian Bar (read about it here)
Troy 22
Stumblin Slims (read about it here)
The Waiting Room (formerly the Drop)
La reve – Café de Paris

Bete Noir

Finger in the Pie

Scared to Dance (read about it here)

Electroswing

Southbound and Down

Heavy Load

Antichrist (read about it here)

So tough so cute

Great Big Kiss

Timebox

Crossfire

ZOOZOO

Mousetrap 

Soul Shakers Party

Fuzz 4 Freaks Party

Oh my God I miss

Belle Eqpoque

Die Freche Muse

Rivoli Ballroom 

Wilton Music Hall

Antagony

Viva cake bitches

Boom boom club

The Works

Bearded kitten

Kinki Malinki

Smartie Party

Circo loco
Lucha Brittania (read about it here)
Old London Underground club whenever it opens
Cut a shine
Black Cotton Club
Birthdays
Old School Indie At o2 Academy Islington