Torture Garden, 6th September

I finally did it - delved into the world of Torture Garden. And I don't mean to sound blase but it was actually kinda tame! Tame that is, not lame - it was still a lot of fun. Yes, there's a couples room, and yes there's a 'play' room, and yes, there was even a medical room. But apart from that, it just felt like one big clubnight. It was weird for its lack of weirdness. In the Kit Kat Cabaret room they were playing 50s and 60s rock n roll, which turned into pop at the end of the night, in the main room they were playing house music like you would find anywhere else. The only strange thing about it was that, in these rooms, quite a lot of people had very little clothes on. But I'm starting to get used to an element of nudity on my nights out, so even that doesn't make me blink.

What they say about the door policy being strict is somewhat true. Despite spending weeks thinking about what to wear, and going to the efforts of hiring some suitable clothing, my boyfriend was still upbraided on his choice of corduroy trousers. We weren't a fan of them either, but it was the best we could do given our resources. However, once we got in there were several people I thought who had made far less of an effort than Stephen. There were a pair of boys who were dressed in shorts and had their shirts open, the only nod to the 'scene' being a pair of goggles and a whip they had. Unspectacular. My girl friend and I felt great in the outfits we had pieced together - they might not have been latex but how much effort does slinging on a one-piece latex dress take? None really, other than spending the money on latex in the first place. No - we'd really put some thought into our attire and I thought it showed. I felt confident walking through the crowds.

Torture Garden was held in Electrowerkz, the same place I went to for my first Rumpus. Even though I had been there before, I found it impossible to get my bearings, which sort of added to the fun. I'm still certain that we missed one or two rooms altogether because we kept getting lost. I wanted to make sure we saw some of the live acts so after wandering around a little we followed some kindly folk who showed us the way to the main stage (which we never again seemed to chance upon). I'm not sure who we were watching, or what they were doing. It seemed some kind of ritual was being acted out on stage, it was full of [probably] symbolic gestures and there was a lot of writhing. I had no idea what was really going on and after many minutes nothing became clearer. I thought maybe childbirth was being alluded to, and expected the woman on whom the rite was being performed to expel something from beneath her suspiciously long skirt (suspicious as she was naked from the waist up). But nothing was forthcoming and we got bored after a while and left. We found ourselves in the cabaret room again where we listened to some warbling, and then saw a pretty good performance. A girl came out as a 'human pony' with braided hair, bridle and shoes that did a good job of conveying hooves. She then performed a fire eating act which was sexy and exciting, and soundtracked by - yeah you guessed it - Ginuwine's Pony.

And that is the full sum of all the acts we managed to see!

The first three hours we were in there went by in a flash. I feel like I can't even recount what we were doing for most of it. Dancing I suppose! We spent a little time in the 'play' room (which I didn't think was quite as good as the one at Antichrist - it seemed a little more chaotic, as if people weren't sure where to go or what to do) but both me and my friend hopped on a horse to get a proper spanking session in - by hand and by crop! 

We of course also had to experience the couples room but I'm not going to be coy here - Stephen and I did absolutely nothing in there beyond being voyeuristic. For some reason this room was hotter than the sun and I couldn't bear to be in there for very long at all, let alone find it arousing. My friend and her boyfriend managed to brave the sauna atmosphere to get up to some mischief though. And though we passed an area with medical-looking equipment, we never saw anyone actually use it!

The club wasn't as busy as I thought it was going to be and by 4 am (it finished at 6 am) the place was beginning to feel empty and lack a bit of atmosphere. I wondered if this was because most regulars were saving themselves for the Halloween event where they apparently pull out all the stops. I still had a really good night and would happily go back. The music was right up my street in terms of ranging across house, electro-swing and rock n roll so with the addition of a bit of nudity and 'play' I can easily see this becoming a bit of a habit!