Hotbox, 4th January

I said on my Twitter that I died and went to ‘cue heaven when we went to Hotbox and I stand by that. It was everything I had expected and more. Expensive, sure – the beef rib will set you back 24 squids, but the quality is superb.

We were assured by our waiter that the Hotbox Smoked Selection was big enough to share between two, as long as we got at least a couple of sides as well, and so, wanting to try everything, that’s what we did. We also threw in an extra smoked chicken thigh so we’d have one each. I’m so glad we did as this was exceptional. So smoky and sweet, I would make sure I had this again.

In fact, I wouldn’t be able to choose what to have next time if not the selection again as it was all so good. The only thing I didn’t really like was the sausage which was a little coarse for me. We’d had it before at hawker House and Stephen liked it a lot. I know it is just my personal preference, not a reflection of the actual sausage’s quality.

The slice of beef rib was perfectly tender, and charred, good enough to eat on its own without any of the sauce that accompanied the plate. Same goes for the pork rib. Both were meltingly soft with a robust flavour. The pulled pork (collar I believe) was some of the finest I’ve ever eaten. Not dry at all, and again not really needing any sauce, although we did drizzle some over.

Beware – if you don’t like a bit of heat with your ‘cue then you might want to stay away. It was never overpowering but it was certainly there in almost everything, and the plate came with some extra jalapenos and onions as garnish.

For our sides we had the pickled jalapeno coleslaw (excellent) and the ham hock pinto beans. This seemed to be a mix of two beans – black and pinto, and the black beans were a little too firm for me. We eyed up other customers’ dishes and the sweet potato fries looked just right, as did the grilled elote (Mexican corn).

When we finished our main we were so disappointed. We wanted more! I would say that one person could order the selection and eat it all but they’d be stuff to the gills, whereas for two it makes for quite a light dinner. Getting a more stodgy side like fries would help. However, ignore all of that if you plan to have a dessert because they do not skimp on the size of these, and they are worth leaving a bit of room if you like sweet things.

I had to try the deep fried oreos whereas Stephen went with a less adventurous sticky toffee pudding. Deep fried oreos are, as you can guess, amazing. I don’t love normal oreos so much but when they’re warm and chewy like this they’re wonderful. I could probably do with a little less of the dough they are encased in, especially as you get four of them and they can become quite sickly. I gave one to Stephen. They come with a dark chocolate sauce and ice cream, which is a nice contrast of hot and cold. We chatted to one of the staff and he said they were considering swapping out the chocolate ice cream for a lighter flavour, which I think would be a great idea. A plain vanilla, or even the butterscotch ice cream that Stephen had with his pudding would work really well.

Stephen’s sticky toffee was a brick of a pudding (in size, not texture) and came with toffee sauce and the aforementioned butterscotch ice cream. We were so full after this! Full and happy.

I was quite surprised by the style of Hotbox – it’s dark and sleek and feels more like a bar than a restaurant. I expected something more Americana-themed. But the food is much more than befits a theme bar so the surroundings suit it. I can’t wait to go back - probably now my favourite BBQ joint in London. 

The Culpeper, 7th August

After our lovely drink at The Discount Suit Co we went to the newly opened Culpeper (where the Princess Alice once was, on Commercial Street). Their USP is having a garden on the roof from which some of your dish might be made but other than that they’re basically a pub in the front and a gastropub in the back and I’d read really good things about the place. 

For some reason it wasn't quite as satisfying as I'd hoped. Perhaps our choices didn’t give them a chance to show off their flair, but when it came to choosing, there weren’t that many items on the menu I was particularly taken with. Fish and chips seemed a little too boring (and didn’t look anything special when I saw someone get them). The pie looked quite good but I don’t like mushrooms, and it was one of those where you only get a pie topping, not the whole pastry shebang. I don’t like sardines. And I don’t really like mustard either but I thought ‘how mustardy can they really make potatoes?’ so ordered the pork chop. Stephen had the sardines.

To start we got some of the porkcorn. This was good if slightly chewy but basically just tasted of pork scratchings. I'd like to fool myself that it was healthier than actual pork scratchings though. 

Stephen got the anchovy salad and I had the artichoke with crab butter because it sounded the most interesting.This dish is not made for one person to eat. It is basically liquefied butter with crab meat in it and is one of the richest things I’ve ever eaten. It tastes good with the artichoke leaves but they don’t provide enough ballast to counter the grease and I began to feel a bit queasy as I neared the end. I more than encouraged Stephen to tuck in and have his fill as well. What we really could have done with was some house bread to dip in it, and fill my stomach so that all that butter wasn't sloshing around in there - but if I wanted bread I had to pay for it. Why don't we get free bread anymore? When did it become a 'starter' or part of a 'cover charge'? It's only flour and water. (Ok, ok, oftentimes a sourdough starter as well.) I feel this is stingy on the part of restaurants these days. While I’m at it, I kind of feel the porkcorn could have been a freebie too – such gestures are appreciated!

Anyway, Stephen was more than happy to give me a hand with this as his was a little underwhelming. He described it as a caesar salad without the good bits. I’m sure that all the ingredients were of the highest quality and fresh as a daisy, but I guess we’re just the kind of people for whom quality isn’t the thing that makes you say ‘wow’ when you’re eating a salad (unlike a steak, say, where quality is everything) - we want some more interesting ingredients as well.

So, our mains. My pork was cooked to almost rare in some places, which was a touch underdone for my liking. I know the trend is to cook it pink these days, and I’m pretty okay with that, but towards the bone it seemed to get a bit mushy and hard to cut and it didn't look that appetising. I am happy to report I didn’t suffer any side effects from this though! The potatoes were pretty full-on when it came to the mustard. They were thickly coated in a mustard sauce, rather than a mustardy vinaigrette as I’d expected. I could bear with them with the rest of the meal but couldn’t eat any of it on its on its own. Even Stephen, who loves mustard found them a tad overwhelming. 

Stephen’s sardines were fresh and cheeky-looking. But, in a similar vein to the pork, they were a little underdone - there was some blood towards the spine, and apparently one or two of them didn't seem to be properly gutted. He also didn't like the romesco it came with, which he thought was too sweet but I thought it was really good and kept nicking it to dilute the mustardiness of my potatoes. He got some chips on the side and of course I had to have one or two but I can't remember much about them. They definitely weren't bad but they weren't stand-out either.

We weren't even tempted to have a dessert, instead deciding to head over to the Peg and Patrio to finish the night. 

I've been back to the Culpeper since for a drink mid-week and enjoyed the light and airy space, with only a few people having a quiet drink. This in contrast to the Thursday evening we went when it was so busy, with people dribbling out to the pavement outside, that we were quite lucky to get a table (it doesn't take reservations). It doesn't exactly feel like a proper (read - old man's) pub, but nor does it seem to be just a restaurant with a bar attached. It's two very separate spaces and I would happily go back to share another bottle sitting in the window, but am in no hurry to get back to the other side for food. 

Find restaurant information on Zomato

Are You Sitting Comfortably? 28th January

Continuing the storytelling trend I set by going to Spark London, we decided to go to Are You Sitting Comfortably, another storytelling night, this time stories submitted in advance, again that had to adhere to a theme, but unlike before, decidedly fiction. 

Cornflake cakes

I invited a few friends along, and after a quick drink in the Commercial Tavern up the road, we went down to Toynbee studios, where it was taking place. The website had said it started at 7:30, but I didn’t know if that meant doors opened then, or the show started then. We got there at about 7:25. I had also never been to Toynbee studios before so other than knowing it took place in their Arts Bar and Café, I didn’t know what to expect. We collected our tickets and walked in. Clearly doors opened before 7:30 as almost all the places were filled and there was a lot of hustle and bustle as extra chairs were being brought out to ensure everyone had a seat. This was in additon to the toing and froing as people arriving and sitting were hastily asked if they required a chip butty and these were ordered and brought to wherever you had found a seat. Seating was not, as I had imagine, in a theatre or auditorium format, but in fact lots of tables replete with red and white checkered table cloths, with various literary and hipster types chattering in them with their bottles of red wine. Each table had some complimentary sweets in teacups and also some very delicious cornflake cakes, which had the best chocolate to cornflake ratio I’ve ever encountered. We ended up crowded round the front of a table, barely a footstep away from where the stories were being read, tucking into our chip butties, and popping sweets into our mouths. 

The spooky stage

The theme this night was Ghost stories, our hosts were Gareth and Bernadette, who run White Rabbit and are writers themselves. They write a story each for the night, and then from the 70 or so submissions they receive from amateur short story writers, they pick seven to read aloud to the audience. The little stage was set up to reflect the theme of the night, and Bernadette had bedecked herself in a bit of a spooky costume (Gareth had stuck to a suit) and there was also a screen showing creepy, ghostly images while the stories were being read. 

After all the chip butties had been served (they were complimentary, as were the little treats) and everyone had settled, they began the first story. The take on the theme of Ghost stories was quite varied (and I suppose that is why they chose the stories they did). There was one story that I thought was quite chilling, about a woman who discovers the grave of a clown, and who may or may not have ended up trapped and killed by him in the end. There were a couple of stories with the ghosts being the narrator – one an evil lady haunting her manor, surprised when the ghosts of her own children she murdered come back to haunt her, and another with a man telling us what he has got up to since he died (voyeurism mostly), and what life after death is like. One ghost story was almost a love story, and quite moving. Both Bernadette and Gareth’s stories were very entertaining, and you could tell that they were accomplished yarn-spinners. I will never think of Croydon the same way again, not that I thought of it much at all before. They each took turns telling all the stories, with one guest speaker (as there were 9 stories in all, this keeps it fair I guess). 


At the end of the evening, it was time for a few little competitions. On the tables in front of us had been pages from a book. We were now invited to guess at what that book was, and whoever did, won a prize. Reading the page I had, I didn’t feel I recognized the text, and yet something within me made me think of The Magus. It turns out it was that book, but I know this because someone else shouted it out, not because I was brave enough to make a punt at it. Then, there was a bit of a general quiz about ghoulish things, you had to raise your hand or shout out the answer to win a prize. And finally, all through the evening we had been invited to write down what we were most afraid of, and the top 5 were picked at the end of the night. I didn’t enter, as I felt writing something like ‘dying alone’ wouldn’t really suit the mood of the evening, and the winners were indeed people with far wittier phobias than mine.

The evening finished at about 10 and we went home. It was a very different night to Spark – you were almost guaranteed the stories would be good, and perhaps even better, that the people telling them knew what they were doing. You were safe with them. It was almost a strange experience – actually being read to. I can’t think of the last time it really happened. It made me wonder whether I ought to give audio books a try. But for some reason, I know they’d really annoy me. Best just stick to Are You Sitting Comfortably.