Club Pedestal, 30th July

I’m a firm believer in trying most things once and so, even though I wouldn’t in any way describe myself as a ‘Dom’ in the fetish scene, I wanted to see what Club Pedestal was all about. It describes itself as a club ‘for dominant women and those who worship them’ and even if you’re not into the kinky scene at all, being worshipped has got to sound pretty appealing!

Women can wear what they like, men are supposed to dress as if they are there to serve women – if they haven’t dressed up especially then at the very least they need to wear a collar.

I wasn’t sure what to expect beyond the usual play area that such nights have. I knew there was a cabaret show and it’s held at Fire so there would likely be dancing. I know one of the guys involved in it and had been reassured it was a very friendly event. And it was. I had one of the best nights ever there – just being in a setting where women are in charge was incredibly empowering and liberating. I didn’t expect to feel that way but I did and I can’t wait to go back.

We arrived around 10:30. I had thought we had missed the newbie tour they do every time but luckily we got there just before it started off. There are only three rooms so if you haven’t been before and you miss it, it’s no big deal but it was nice to get an overview of the different areas and what to expect, when. The main room is a general area for hanging out but also contains the quite impressive trample frame, where willing subs can line up and allow women to literally walk all over them. Balance is aided by ropes attached to the frame to hold onto. An excellent idea and I made full use of this in my knee-high boots with killer heels.

To the right is the room where the cabaret happens and then the seats are cleared away for a dance floor. After the cabaret they also have a best dressed male competition – happy to say one of my number made it into the final head to head. A bottle of champagne is on offer for the winner.

To the left of the main room is the Goddess room, where women are absolutely in charge. Men may not sit down ever, and they may not even speak unless given permission. I had quite a few guys with me who weren’t submissive in their nature but they fully got on board with the ethos and, I think, enjoyed to a certain degree being able to give up their yoke of feeling like they have to do all the ‘work’.

All the women who went were big fans, so in general it was a massive success. It might push you slightly out of your comfort zone to see the different degrees of subservience – as a woman, expect your feet to be pounced on any time you sit down (with your permission of course), and you may receive the odd request. But you are always, always, free to say no and that goes for the men too – it was stressed that no one should feel under any pressure either way to do anything they didn’t feel comfortable with. So go, and you might discover something you ARE comfortable with that you hadn’t explored before! Otherwise, there is no pressure at all to get involved if you don't want to - it could be just like a regular night out, but with the sound of spanking in the background. 

Planet Angel, 12th September

If you like raving (techno/house/drum n bass), and you’re not an asshole, you would love Planet Angel. Planet Angel has been going for over a decade, yet remained slightly under the radar, having been set up in 1999 by a couple of friends who wanted to create something that was fun, creative and positive. They put on their first event to about 100 people and since then they have been putting on parties, relying solely on word of mouth to spread their message of friendly, inclusive hedonism and hoping that this will help them maintain and attract the right kind of people. It seems to be working.

They’ve thought about all the kinds of things that make a night out clubbing fun and special and have tried to include them, cultivating a place with no attitude, unless that attitude is about dancing and enjoying yourself. So, they have rooms pumping all sorts of music you would want to rave to – psy-trance, techno, house, trance, drum n bass, and on top of this, they have chill out areas where you can play around with some plasticine, meddle with some lego, or even have a recreational moment of Connect Four, Tic Tac Toe or Jenga (all giant versions of course). 

So. Much. Lego.

Planet Angel also want to look after you, to be sure you have the best night you can have. Flagging a little and need something to perk you up? Why not have one of their herbal teas, or get a toastie in their little kitchen? Or you can simply wait until 2 am when they have stewards wending through the crowd handing out refreshing grapes and berries (at 2 am after some hard dancing, trust me, a grape never tasted so good). 

They also had, at the one I went to (at Fire), some fun touches in and amongst the dancing – someone was drawing a mural of the dancers on the floor in UV paint, while in another room you were invited to graffiti over a designated piece of wall, and they had massive glowing UV butterflies looming over the dance floor. And not to mention the free face painting available, and the space hoppers that suddenly appeared. 

And best of all were the lovely people dancing their assess off, chatting and playing games outside, a lot of whom had clearly been coming for years. There’s a bit of a community here, and in the alternative nightlife world in general that I have tapped into with my Meetup, and it’s welcoming and friendly and non-judgmental and I encourage anyone for whom this sounds like the ideal way of life to go to their next event and see what it’s all about.

Area, 2nd March

Did you know Area is a gay club? Actually we did, but thanks for checking. Repeatedly.

We'd finished our meal at Dans le Noir and headed into the night to Soho. It was 11:30 pm by this time, and our options of places to go, without paying a cover charge, were diminishing. After the obligatory wandering around and wasting even more time, we went to G-A-Y late. What a mistake that was. I was with one of my best friends from home, who is gay, and his boyfriend, and the cheesiness on offer in this place was even too much for them. Add to that an appalling sound system and some clientele who had seen better days (I hope), it didn't make for a happening place to be. After one drink we ditched and got a cab to Area.

Our cabbie was pretty friendly but hadn't heard of Area. We explained where it was and he told us it sounded like it was where 'all those gay bars were'. Yes, we nodded, smirking, chances are it was there! He dropped us at the start of this gay area (perhaps not wanting to spend too much time there) and we walked up to Area. Area is next door to/part of Fire, another club that I haven't yet been to. We were pretty sure we were in the right place when we saw the seven foot black guy replete with what looked like plastic orange flames on his head, massive spiral boobs and a gimp mask. We got in the queue which consisted of just us while the door staff made completely sure that we were aware we were about to enter a gay bar. They singled Stephen out particularly and asked him at least twice if he knew it was a gay place and if he was ok with it. I eventually had to show them the stamp on my hand from G-A-Y Late to prove to him we were cool with it! Considering the Vauxhall gay clubbing scene isn't exactly a place you can stumble on, we thought all this double checking was a little over the top.

Love a bit of podium action

And so we were in. Area is massive. There were three different rooms of music, two of which have a bar, plus an area at the back with a stained glass window, which was mostly empty apart from a couple of guys canoodling. Actually, this was the problem with the place - for such a large venue, there weren't enough people in it! My favourite room was the one playing house complete with live bongo drummer, but very few people were dancing in this one, which meant I sacrificed it in favour of the other rooms where the atmosphere was better. The second largest room was playing cheesyish commercial pop and rnb, and the third and largest room was playing straightforward house music. While the cheesy room started off as the most popular, it was the largest room which ended up having the most people in it. Well, it is where the podiums are and they're always a crowd-pleaser. We flitted in and out of the two bigger rooms for most of the night, though when the music in the second room started to get recycled and L-U-V Madonna came on for the second time, we spent the majority of the time in the third room. Towards the end of the night, they closed down the other rooms and shepherd you all into this one anyway.

I don't really mind whether a club is gay or straight as long as I like the music it is playing and it has a good atmosphere. I felt like Area had potential, but was just too empty. Maybe Saturday night it runs full strength. Music-wise, I was happy to dance but it didn't get right down into my stomach and make me want to jig with abandon. Considering it's so out of the way as well, I don't think I'll be heading back in a rush.