Tombo Poke and Matcha bar, 19th July

Tombo Poke and Matcha bar is a cute little café in Seven Dials bringing the Hawaiian cusine to your lucky faces. 

I was invited along with a friend for a light dinner, which could not have been more perfect for the warm and sunny day we were experiencing. Poke, if you don’t know, is basically a sushi bowl. Diced chunks of raw fish sit on a salad, the construction of which is up to you if you like, or you can go for one of Tombo's signature bowls.

Just look at these bowls of sunshine and deliciousness! It was really very difficult to whittle it down to one sauce, one ‘mix-in’ and two toppings. I started with a base of courgette noodles and added tuna, avocado (of course), spring onion, sahimi and crispy shallots with a ponzu soy on the side. My friend went down the black and white rice route with salmon, nori, and sriracha mayo. Both dishes a joyous little meal and I will happily come back to try more combinations. Lovely idea!

Circus, 12th July

I thought Circus was going to serve up something along the lines of the London Cabaret Club – a show that was fun, but inoffensive, not too risqué. But Circus is an altogether racier night. Not so at first, when a duo dressed in polka dot swimsuits a la 50s pin ups did an aerial hoop performance against a backdrop of doo wop music. But each act got naughtier and sexier, culminating in a fire-eating performance to Welcome to the Jungle, where the fire eater whipped out her tatas and set her pasties alight!

I was impressed by every act and enjoyed the soundtrack of uncensored hip hop and Missy Elliot tracks so I was, I must admit, a little surprised that the food more than passed muster. The place serves pan-Asian food – so you can have dim sum, or sushi/sashimi or tempura, and then most of the mains have an Oriental flavouring to them. I was invited to dine here and we had one starter, main and dessert each. I was stuffed to the gills afterwards.

First I had the chicken truffle shumai with yuzu ponzu. These little parcels were packed with chickeny goodness and were quickly devoured. My friend Sam had the black cod tempura with a tequila salsa which really had a boozy bite to it. The light batter and delicate flesh melted on your tongue.

Next I had the black miso cod – amazingly sweet flavours with firm fish flesh. And a very generous amount!

Sam ordered the New York Strip which you could cook to your liking because it came served on hot (very hot) rocks sizzling away.

For sides you can have smoked aubergine, steamed rice or baby bok choy. We had one of each and that smoked and sweet aubergine is the best aubergine I’ve ever had.

Dessert was good but I think I went for the ‘too safe’ option of a chocolate fondant so I wasn’t wowed by it. It oozed as it should have done but yeah, not much else I am tempted to write about it. Sam’s yoghurt cake, however, was definitely different and therefore stood out. Slightly dense and sweet. 

The overall experience definitely had the wow factor - it would be an excellent treat for a date, or a close friend. And definitely one to put you in a sexy mood...

Earlham Street Clubhouse, 30th December

The final way I took advantage of an empty London before Christmas was to go down to Earlham Street Clubhouse with a few friends and not even bother to make a reservation. 

I knew the place had a sort of retro 90s feel (how I am groaning that the 90s are now considered retro enough to be a theme) that did pizza and cocktails, which seemed like the perfect combination over which a group of girls could have a gossip.

It actually wasn't as retro as I was picturing - it was in fact, quite stylish, with white plus booths in cosily lit smallish nooks. Only the odd touch provided the 90s reference points and a bit of quirk - the hanging cocktail menus for example (practical as well as fun) and the burger phones at every booth. I'm sure I remember reading that you could call up other booths to have a flirt or whatever, but when we tried calling our own booth from the phone next door, nothing happened. Disappointing.

It was all a tad disappointing actually. We had two cocktails apiece and we weren't blown away by them all. My Axel Foley with Don Julio blanco tequila and ting was refreshing but a little bland with not much fizz to it, and my friend who had the Heather's Revenge also said it was a little watery. The Prom Queen I ordered for another friend was more successful - the strawberry puree and cream made it a touch more indulgent, and so was my second drink, the Power Ranger which had more of an alcohol kick with its bourbon base, and apricot jam and red wine providing the interesting flavour. They were all very reasonably priced though, at £7.50. We all cringed at and delighted in the awfully corny names they had for everything, which, being 90s babes, all meant something to us in some way. 

The only food they serve at the moment is pizza, each of which comes with another silly, 90s-reference name. You can get a few of them by the slice, or in 12" or 18" mode. For the true American feel, you should really get the 18-incher. My friends' eyes practically popped out of their heads when the massive pie was set down in front of us, but they haven't had the real deal before. This wasn't it, of course, but size-wise it came close. You could almost fold these slices in half. However, I was in the States recently and two slices of pizza there filled me up. Here, I easily managed to eat half the pizza and still not feel completely sated. Admittedly, they don't claim to be serving NY-style pizza, but given the American theme, you sort of assume that's what they're aiming for. 

So me and my friend Claire shared a Screech - salami picante, chillies and oregano, and my other friends had a 12" each - one The Fresh Prince with mushrooms, fennel sausage and scamorza and one the Marty McFly with mushrooms and ricotta.

I thought my pizza was okay, but it didn't excite me the way Voodoo Ray's did when I first went there, or Homeslice. Perhaps my ingredients were too ordinary, though I love even the 'boring' margherita at Homeslice. The Screech was a spicy one but the heat was inconsistent - only appearing every couple of bites. Having said that, the chillies did pack a punch when you got one. The base was nice and crispy but I think it could have done with larger pieces of salami. Or less crust. Or more tomato. Or something, just something to make it a little more memorable. The others seemed to like theirs, but there were no squeals of delight. I get the impression they all just thought it was pretty standard pizza.

It served its purpose of being somewhere casual to hang out with a group of friends, and cocktails at £7.50 are nothing to be sniffed at, especially in central London so it's good to have this 'in your back pocket' if you find yourself in town, and want somewhere that's not going to decimate your wallet. But given the plethora of new bars in London, this isn't one I'm aching to return to.

Find the menu & restaurant information on Zomato

Harmony and Liberation, 24th August

In about a week I will be going to Torture Garden for the first time. While I'm excited, I'm also a little nervous. What on earth can I wear? 

Well to be honest, I pretty much have my outfit sorted, but my friend had some last bits and pieces to get, which lead us to Soho's seedier side, and to me crossing a couple of things off my List.

Harmony

We'd tried to go to Breathless in King's Cross but it was shut while it relocated to Euston. So we headed into town to Harmony, the one near Peter Street. It's actually massive in there, complete with a downstairs bit and we spent ages getting sidetracked by all the weird and ermm... not so wonderful things in there. Upstairs there's underwear and some clothing bits and pieces where we quickly saw they didn't have the sort of pasties we were looking for. But we headed downstairs to have a look around anyway. The first thing you seem to come to is the men's 'self-help' section selling everything from cheaper 'pocket pussies' to full on, several-hundred-pounds' worth sex dolls. Or, rather, the sexual parts of the anatamoy - you could buy an ass and pussy, or you could buy a tits and pussy. And they were heavy! I guess all the better to hump against.

They had a huge selection of toys for women and couples, we marveled at some of the ingenious devices in terms of what they did and how they were designed. Some sleek glass-blown dildos caught my eye. They also had quite a few sexy outfits and minor S & M things like bondage tape, handcuffs and a few cat o'nine tails, spanking paddles.

There was honestly a lot more in there than I had expected and of rather good quality. I defintely know where to head should I be in the market for anything like that in the future.

Liberation

We had been unsuccessful at Harmony but we had a few other places to try such as Kiss Kiss (where the owner told us the government is STILL trying to rid Soho of its sex shops, something probably no one but they wants to happen) and Simply Pleasures where I saw the biggest inflatable penis I have ever seen. It was like an elephant's leg! (ok, maybe not that big, but still - is it supposed to go INSIDE someone??). Simply pleasures was also a little more expensive and playing abominable music so we didn't stay long. But nowhere had the pasties we needed. Our last stop was Liberation.

And of course, as logic permits, the last place we looked had the perfect thing. We rang the bell and the girl let us in. I can see why they have the doorbell, this isn't the sort of place they want any old pervert walking into. This is a boutique fetish/latex store, selling high quality items and some Victorian antique oddities. It's not seedy, or mainstream; it's a really interesting store to look around. We found the pasties immediately but still went downstairs to browse through their selection of latex outfits. Boys and girls are catered for so if you've got a spare couple of hundred quid, and you're in the market for a fetish outfit, I would definitely suggest heading here. They even had a latex version of a boys set of tails, polo shirts, a full suit. It was fantastic. Upstairs they had beautiful collars, cuffs and masks and two latex ties I was tempted to get.

At the back of the basement were some more curios - a sex swing, and an 18th century douche amongst others. Apparently the owner has a bit of a thing for Victoriana and collects things but sometimes puts the odd thing in the shop for sale - there were items in ivory and scrimshaw in the display cases as well.

The sales girls were fantastically friendly and chatty, giving us advice about how to put on the pasties and whether they'd go with the outfit my friend was putting together. If TG is a success and I want to invest some money in more outfits, I'll definitely head here. 

Obviously I didn't think taking pictures was the done thing to do, so go and explore the places for yourselves! Doesn't matter whether you're in a couple or not, they both had something for everyone.

Canela, 23rd June

Canela is a Portuguese based restaurant/café. They have a place in Seven Dials and another little one on Oxford Street, and they used to have one near Carnaby Street but that is now Pitt Cue Co. I had been planning on having some feijoada, a traditional Portuguese stew with sausage and black beans but when I got there it was a little more expensive than I was expecting. I didn’t want to pay over £11 for what I was thinking would be a snack, not a sit-down main meal. However, they have a counter full of sweet things (pasteis de nata, chocolate fondants etc) and savouries (lots of quiches, salads) that were of the right size and price range. I chose a chicken coxinha because I didn’t know what it was and it sounded suitably Portuguese, and a Pao de queijo (cheese bread). The man who took my order asked if I wanted them warmed, and I assented. I paid my £4.80 and took my delights with me.

Pointy 'scotch egg'

Its true contents are revealed!

The coxinha was a bit like a Scotch egg. Except that instead of an egg in the middle, it was chicken. And instead of it being encased in sausage, it was encased in potato. And instead of being round it was pointy. But otherwise very similar. So, actually, a coxinha is a filled potato croquette. It was quite nice - the chicken was very nicely seasoned, but it was a little dry. Some sort of hot sauce or dip would have made it really good. 

Mmm cheesy

And then I moved on to my cheese bread. I can imagine me developing a habit for these. They were light, but at the same time reassuringly dense, and chewy. Very cheesy and decadently buttery. I’ll be coming back for more.