Ribstock, 27th September

I have wanted to go to a Ribstock for about three years now but things beyond my control, rather than inability to get a ticket have always got in the way. Not this year though. I was there, at noon, finger on the mouse, ready to get my ticket, and before 12:01 I was one of the lucky 200 to have nabbed one. They did things a bit differently this year – previously tickets are around £50 and that entitles one person to try all the competition ribs  and cast their vote for their favourite. Being a Tweat Up event, they normally throw in a free drink or two with that, and I think there’s normally about ten competitors.

This year, the ticket was a whopping £79!! BUT, it was a plus one ticket – so you could go on your own and eat ALL the ribs, or you could bring someone with you for ‘sharesies’. And believe me, doing ‘sharesies’ did not mean losing out. There were only three competitors who served up a single rib, and these were gargantuan examples of a rib. Otherwise you would get at least two ribs, or, where they were baby back (by Roti Chai) we actually had four! I was stuffed by the end of it, and we had to seriously slow down our eating after four servings to make sure we didn’t ruin our judgment by being too full to enjoy them.

On top of this each ticket got you a pint glass which entitled you to unlimited refills of Frontier lager. I’m not a beer drinker myself, but Stephen made ample use of this and got through five pints in the evening before we called it a night and headed off at 9:30. Had we stayed until the end he could easily have made that seven.

On top of this – yes, there’s more! We got a free old fashioned, and a free shot of tincup whiskey – lovely stuff – smooth and sweet. But wait, there’s more!! With each ticket you also got a free bottle of The Ribman’s Holy Fuck Bacon sauce, plus some pork scratchings.

But wait, there’s EVEN more!! Some of the stalls had other freebies they were giving away with the competition ribs. Roti Chai had an apple and cinnamon whiskey shot, Breddos had a pickleback (love them!) and Texas Joe gave away packets of his fruity, lip tingling, chewy jerky (seriously – it’s delicious). Yeah, I did the math and we got our money’s worth that day that’s for sure. (I literally did the calculating as we were going along and we easily ate and drank £80 worth.)

Roti Chai's baby backs with apple and cinnamon whiskey shot

So. The Ribs. There were seven traders taking part and I won’t go into detail on them all or this post will last as long as it took to eat them. For Stephen and I there was a definitive Top 3, and we were actually split between our two favourites, it was such a close call. We enjoyed all of the ribs but there was something we couldn’t quite define yet which we knew we were looking for when it came to choosing the best. It couldn’t be too much like any old slow-cooked meat. It had to have some BBQ char, flavour and texture to it. A bit of bite, a bit of its own unique taste, not relying simply on its sauce. For us, Smokestak and Hotbox ticked all these boxes. I slightly preferred Smokestak with the rib tips it came with and a very good hot coleslaw and pickled chillies.

Winning ribs from Smokestak

Stephen preferred Hotbox, which came with some delicious pickled onions and also chillies. In the end, I voted for Hotbox in the name of romance.

Our third choice were Breddos tacos, although the public chose otherwise, with Roti Chai coming in third. We both liked the Roti Chai ribs but we felt they were more about the sauce than the rib – a lovely satay-esque sauce with a good hit of chilli. I really loved the Breddos boys’ short rib offering though, topped with the best mole I’ve ever had. I had thought I was running out of room and yet I got that in my stomach without pausing for breath. What kept it from the top spot for us was that it seemed more like a slow cooked pot roast than a barbequed beef rib. Damn tasty though!

We began our feasting at 6 and it took us three and a half hours to get to the final rib, and I’m sad to say we were far too full to try any of the other porky offerings for sale as part of PorkLife which was running concurrently. The pork belly croquettes from Breddos looked delicious, and I think Stephen was sad he couldn’t fit in a Bleecker burger. But what an amazing event. I’m now in my semi-non-drinking month so apart from all the free shots, I didn’t buy any drinks, and Stephen had his beer refills so we didn’t spend any money the whole night. Tweat Up, I salute you (again).

Here are the rest of the competitors’ ribs:

The Ribman's with Holy Fuck 'slaw

Texas Joe's beast

Q Grill's sticky ribs

Smokestak's pig

Red Dog Saloon, 18th May

I have been watching far too much of Diners, Drive-ins and Dives, and Man V Food. It’s becoming almost a daily occurrence and might explain why a place like Red Dog Saloon appealed so much. I like the sound of a BBQ place anyway, but Red Dog goes one step further in emulating places in the States by having their very own challenges. They have the Hot Wing challenge, the Philly Cheese Steak challenge, and they have a burger called the Devastator, which isn’t an official challenge but I’m sure would be something of a personal feat to finish.

We had decided we were going to go and do the Hot Wing Challenge. It says on the menu we’d looked at in advance that the hot wings are coated in a hot sauce made from the naga viper chilli. Now, we had been putting the Rib Man’s hot sauce on pretty much everything since we bought it a couple of weeks ago, and that has naga chillies in it, so we thought we’d been in training for this, and would be able to handle a few hot wings. If we had been a bit more savvy, we should have noted the addition of the word ‘viper’. But we didn’t. I was a little more cautious – Stephen wanted us to have the hot wings as a starter and then our mains but I was insistent we order them with food in case we needed something to take the edge off.

When we asked about the Hot Wings, our waitress explained that in order to do the challenge you have to eat the six hot wings in ten minutes, without eating or drinking anything else. You then have to sit a further five minutes without eating or drinking anything in order to ‘feel the burn’. If you did that, then your wings were free and your name went on the Wall of Fame. If you failed, you had to pay for the privilege and your name went on the Wall of Shame. We explained we wanted to both try them and so we’d have them but sans Challenge. 

innocent-looking wings (and I apologise for the quality of the pictures)

For our mains we wanted to try as many different things as possible to get a broad taste of the place so Stephen ordered the beef rib dinner (which comes with a side of your choice – his was fries) 

and I ordered the pulled pork and pork rib dinner with a side of meaty beans. What goes better with meat than more meat?

In due course our food arrived and we were pleasantly surprised that our ‘dinners’ also came with some coleslaw. In just a few moments that pleasant surprised turned to abject gratitude as I tried to douse the pain in my mouth with alternately the cool mayonnaisey coleslaw and great gulps of wine. I have never. In all my life. Eaten anything. So hot. It was unbelievable. It was so painful in fact, that I can’t really believe how painful it was. My mind has blocked the memory of it. Much like childbirth I believe. I had taken a wing in both hands and taken a tentative bite. The smallest of bites. It was enough to burn my lips, my tongue and my throat and almost made me want to cry. I did cry in fact - involuntarily, from the heat – a rivulet of water streaming from my right eye, without me even meaning it to.

Stephen fared worse. Throwing sense to the wind he grabbed a wing and had a bite which took off at least half the wing, if not more. The expression that then appeared on his face is hard to describe. He ate some coleslaw, and drank a lot of his beer. And repeated. But I could tell nothing was working. After what felt like an eternity of this, he looked like he was going to do a combination of vomit or cry or have a mental breakdown and just as I was getting really concerned and was going to ask him if he was ok, he excused himself and went to the bathroom. When he returned he looked much more himself but said that despite repeatedly washing his mouth out with water, his entire lower face was numb. He kept prodding it, almost bemused at the loss of feeling. I then took a moment to wash my hands. Twice. And yet, when I licked my fingers during the meal (because the rest was indeed worthy of finger licking) the residue was still enough to burn my tongue. We pushed those wings as far away from us as possible and declined when they offered to box them up for us.

uneaten wings of the Devil

So, onto the food. I enjoyed it. My favourite morsel of them all were the pork ribs. They were lovely and pink as they should be, moist and a little fatty, coming off the bone easily when torn into with teeth and properly smokey as I expect BBQ things to be. I’d been warned that the pulled pork could be a little dry but I thought mine was fine, I didn’t even need extra condiments for it. Stephen’s beef short ribs were lovely but to me, they didn’t capture the essence of ‘cue enough. I’m never going to denigrate a lovely piece of slow cooked beef, which this was, but apart from a very small amount of BBQ sauce drizzled over them, it was just that – slow cooked meat.

My meaty beans had a nice flavour although the beans themselves were a little too ‘al dente’. The fries were just fries – nothing to write home about. I did like the coleslaw quite a lot, though that may have been because it was such a saviour when combatting those naga vipers. The servings were generous but I think we made a good dent in them...

Service wasn’t the best in the world. We had a reserved a table but it wasn’t ready when we turned up on time so we had to sit downstairs in the basement bar area and have some drinks, which didn't show up until after we were given a table a good 20 minutes later. When we were seated it was in a booth in this same downstairs area, toward the back near the kitchen. This turned out to be a blessing because they also had live music down there, which was just a touch too loud where we were, nevermind if you were any closer to them. And when we ordered a second drink or tried to pay, service was definitely sluggish. But the atmosphere was good, the waitresses were friendly when they were around, and the whole thing felt like a real American-style experience. I would go back, if I had any meatloving friends to impress, or I wanted to torture myself again. And yes, I would try another hot wing if given the chance.  

The Rib man, 9th December

The meat to bread ratio. I'm going to say that again. The meat to bread ratio. It is all important. How many times have you had a pulled pork sandwich, a burger, or one of those hog roast sandwiches, stalls of which can be found at every festival and market and ended up vaguely disappointed. And I can tell you for why - the meat to bread ratio is all wrong. And sometimes the bread is of the wrong type as well. As a bread lover, you would think the more bread the better for me, but I'm quite particular in how my sandwiches are compiled. The bread should not drown the filling and unfortunately it too often does.

Someone who clearly understands this is The Rib Man. Normally to be found on Brick Lane on a Sunday, this guy has taken one of everybody's (I use the word everybody here liberally) favourite foods and made it a gazillion times better. Ribs. Ribs are great. But what is the annoying thing about them? That they're on ribs. They're messy and annoying to eat, you have to make loads to get a decent haul of meat off of them. If only there were some other way...

Well, The Rib Man has provided the answer. He goes through all the trouble of marinating these ribs from outside reared Norfolk and Suffolk pigs and then slow cooking them. He then takes all the meat off the bones and serves it up in bread rolls or wraps. Actually, you can also buy them in their natural form on the bone as well if you so wish. 

Ooh saucy! And possibly as big as my head

I went up to Eat Street again today and he was there. That's why I went - to try him out. I saw that there were a few wraps already made and keeping warm but I wanted to try out the roll. The wraps looked good - pretty stuffed and the meat looked great, but I just had the feeling that the real test would be in the roll. So that's what I asked the lady serving for. They had a couple ready made in some paper bags but the guy 'in back' (who I can only assume is the Rib Man himself) said, wait a minute - I'll make a fresh one. And he grabbed a roll and scooped in the meat, grabbed a bunch of kitchen roll with which to hold it and handed it over. My eyes probably did a cartoon bulge at the sight of it. It was massive. The lady then asked me if I wanted any sauce (which the Rib Man makes himself). I went for some BBQ and of course some of the hot stuff. Apparently there is a second hot sauce you can have but it's so hot you have to ask for it specially. I believe it goes by the name of Holy F**k. So I figured the mainstream stuff would be enough for me.

It wasn't all that busy in that area so I found a seat and began to tuck in. 

This is the view halfway through - I'm attempting to show
how juicy the meat is without sauce

I've got to say, it was pretty special. The roll was hefty, and soft - it was the perfect roll in which to encase some shredded meat. He had also packed it so full, he had managed to attain the perfect B to M ratio (see above). At last! This almost excited me more than the taste. I had quite a bit of sauce on the meat, which I tried, sort of unsuccessfully to spread evenly across all the meat, but to be honest, the meat is so juicy, sauce isn't essential. But it tastes good so whack some of that on too. The BBQ sauce is sweet and smoky, the hot sauce is bloody hot. It seriously made my mouth, tongue and I think even teeth tingle. 

I would say I couldn't get enough of this sandwich but it is so huge, that would just be a blatant lie. At about three quarters of the way through I thought a decent person would probably stop, but I'm not a decent person - I'm a glutton so I ploughed on to the end!  Just wonderful.