Fanny Nelson's, 22nd September

I had a plan. I would try three libations of each sort on offer – one cocktail, one wine and one draught beverage. But best laid plans and all that… I did not stay long enough to complete the mission. Nor was I able to try as much of the food as I would have liked. But I was there long enough to realise that the Fanny Nelson is a charming, cosy little pub which manages to be perfect date material but also seems to have a very healthy handful of locals – both of the hipster and genuine East End local variety, who all seemed to know the bar staff by name.

What I ended up having was the Jamonero - dark rum, peach, red wine and yellow chartreuse. Which, it turns out, had only just been added to the menu. The barman was very keen to hear my views upon tasting it as he’d come up with it. It had quite a sweetness to it, reminding me of a punch, which was fine to start but I couldn’t drink it all night. It so happened he agreed but he said he thought he had a more sour palate than most. I guess I do too… 

I sipped at the dinky drink but before long decided I should try some food. I had been told the duck and the steak were very good, but I’d seen how much steak you got and wasn’t hungry enough for that so I did have the duck breast. It was cooked to pink in the middle sections though the ends ended up well done. It came with a beetroot hummus and a sort of couscous crumble all atop almond yoghurt which was too tangy for me and which I avoided. 

Alongside the duck I had to have a glass of red, of course. Having unexpectedly dined on my own up to this point, I decided I had spent enough time in this pub and left for elsewhere. So I only managed two out of the three drinks. I can’t wait for an excuse to go back and try more.

Walluc, 1st September

Well, that was the worst meal I’ve had in recent memory.

I didn’t think you could go far wrong with dipping things in melted cheese but Walluc is here to prove otherwise. I had high hopes – suspecting that it might be a rather overlooked gem on Redchurch street, being forsaken for all the hipster places springing up all around. 

It is a ramshackle kind of place, and I’m never entirely sure of its opening hours so I suspected a quirky personality that I could really bond with lay inside. We walked past in June on a First Thursdays walking tour and it was rammed and buzzy, further adding to my hope. However, when we went, we were the sole customers.

There is only one option on the menu to eat – fondue. This is served with boiled potatoes (undercooked) and bread (comically stale and hard). Four tea lights were brought out and a stand set over them. Then the pot of cheese was placed upon it and given a stir. Stirring was essential as it was so lukewarm to begin with it started to set almost immediately. We ate as quickly as possible but still ended up with basically a lump of gooey cheese in the bowl before too long.

The best I can say about this is that at least it is not expensive at £13 for two. And to give them some benefit of the doubt, perhaps, for two people, they just couldn’t be arsed to make an effort with the food and looked upon us as an opportunity to get rid of their leftover product. Androuet, however, is similarly priced and is streets ahead in terms of, well, everything. 

Black Rock, 22nd March

Black Rock is cool. It just is. Which is not surprising given its big sister is the Worship Street Whistling Shop around the corner.

While the Whistling Shop specializes in gin, Black Rock specializes in whiskey. In a big way. If you don’t like whiskey, you really shouldn’t bother coming to this bar – every cocktail has whiskey in it, be it highball or short and strong, and the only other option is four beers. Because that’s not the point.

Running along the middle of this sleek but bijou bar is a table made out of a 166 year old oak tree, in which whiskey sits aging. There are two kinds – Table and Cherry and a dram of either will cost you £6. Then there are six cabinets stuffed with whiskeys from all over and separated according to flavour profile – sweet, fragranced, spiced etc. We only had two drinks and stuck to the cocktails so I didn’t get a chance to dip into these cabinets of wonder. Next time.

The cocktails were pretty perfect – my preference were for the first two we had as I’m just not a Highball kinda gal – too much liquid, not enough boozy flavour, but we tried them anyway for variety. I had the 40 Shades (no idea why it had that naughty reference) with apple and fennel pollen. It was slightly carbonated and I have to say the apple was very light and not too fruit-juicy. The fennel got a bit intense towards the end but was otherwise a refreshing drink.

The Campfire was a take on an old-fashioned but with extra oomf from the two whiskies and a deeply satisfying sweetness from the marshmallow gomme. The White Dog Martinez was a much lighter drink paring whiskey with cocchi instead of another whiskey but still pokey enough and with vanilla rounding off the flavour this time. Quaffable.

Service was excellent – everything was well explained to us and water kept topped up without being intrusive. A lovely joint.

Bump Caves and Found, 22nd January

Earlier in the evening Carolyn and I stopped off for a cocktail at Bump Caves. I arrived just after 6 and was the only person in the place. Then Carolyn arrived, then one other. We wondered why it was so empty. And then all of a sudden, at around half past, the people piled in!

I liked the cocktail I ordered - The Very Last Word – and Carolyn’s Old Italian Roots was pretty good but I didn’t fall in love with the bar. A bit generic.

Found, on the other hand, I liked a lot. It was small and lively. But not too lively – a bunch of boys started getting lairy just before it closed, singing/chanting Bowie songs and the guy behind the bar told them off. They started again and he was like, seriously guys – this just isn’t the bar for that. And it’s not. Fun times, yes. ‘Lads’ getting noisy and drunk, no. It just feels like an extension of the bar above  - Casita, which is also small and lively, and friendly. I had a Sloe-ly Does it with rye, sloe gin and chambord - typically me - short and boozy. And Carolyn had the Heaven and Hell - featuring jalapeno agave, framboise and raspberry. I could have happily swapped, and easily drunk a serving two times this size.

 

After this was a second outing to Cherry Cola – this was at The Macbeth but from now on they’ll be at their spiritual home of the (now renamed The Crowndale) Purple Turtle.

Oklava, 22nd December

I read one review of Oklava and decided their food had to be in my mouth as soon as possible. With Alison (a once frequent character on these pages) back in town for a couple of nights, I thought it would be perfect for us to go and have a few bites, some wine and catch up. As it indeed was. Considering the weather was quite dreadful and it was Christmas week, it was still fairly busy and we perched at a side bar.  Choosing what to eat was an enjoyable chore as everything sounded so good. And pretty much everything I ate made me want to go back and try more. Even the moreish bread with date butter (date butter!) which shows how a simple twist could elevate something ordinary to a star dish. I can almost taste the sweet and creamy richness in my mouth right now.

The cherry pearl barley with crispy kale, yoghurt, chilli butter and curls of sheep’s cheese was so intensely flavoured it was my other star dish of the night. Next came our lamb fat potatoes (how indulgent) with salty hellim (halloumi to you and me) on the side and a rich duck egg on top. Small plates are for sharing but how I loathed giving up any of this dish to my friend.

The monkfish was good but I feel the portion was too small for me to get the most of the flavours (citrus, urfa, chilli and coriander as it happens), as again, we split it between the two of us. My friend ordered the prawns with garlic, chilli and fennel, of which I had one. These were very decently sized specimens, and succulent.

Last up was our lahmacun. We were advised to take it and roll it up with the pickles inside, which is what I did, giving me a very fresh, crunchy and light sort of burrito. I liked this, even if the lamb on the bread didn’t come through all that much.

Each of the dishes were good enough though, to make me want to pop by again to try a few more. 

Are You Game?, 23rd September

What do you get when you cross funfair games, a gameshow and a cabaret and throw in a heavy pinch of smut? You get Are You Game by Fowl Cabaret that’s what!

I had no idea what to expect from this ‘interactive gameshow’ but what I got was a whole lot of fun. And I wasn’t even drinking! Sober fun!

We got there and I immediately regretted my ‘day job’ clothes as we and took in everyone else’s outfits and were greeted by a sparkly Unicorn man. People in the know had dressed for the occasion. We were given a couple of tokens and, even though we read the ‘rules’ (No biting – only with consent) weren’t really much the wiser as to what was going on. But it soon became clear. The evening started with some games you could take part in, using your tokens to ‘pay’ to take part and if you won, you got more tokens. Why would you want more tokens? Well – to play the other games and to take part in the installations. And to win the coveted Egg Cup award at the end.

Games on offer were Ball Buster, Panty Pinging, Scrapple, and Waft of Fortune. Each was manned by a madcap gamesmaster who took on a larger than life character. I never found out how Scrapple worked, but I tried all the others. Waft of Fortune involved spinning the wheel and trying to guess the smell you landed on. I failed. Then we tried Ball Buster – tying some pantyhose that had two balls in the legs around your waste and then trying to knock down some little cones before your opponent. It was much tougher than it sounds especially when you're laughing the whole time. And finally, we pinged some panties which had the longest build up and explanation of a game ever – far too long-winded to go into here (it involved lots of screaming and selfies). 

Then we were all called over to the stage where the main even began. First, Mystal Craze – the chance to compete for a private ‘show’ no one else would see, and of course, some sort of glory. Two teams were pitched against each other and had to a) create a structure out of cheese and pineapple, b) decorate a cake blindfolded and c) eat doughnuts off their teammate without using their hands. Naturally these doughnuts were arranged as a bra and a pair of knickers.

We then had a musical interlude from Dr Clive singing about cross-dressing pirates and cannibalism.

We were granted a short break to continue the game-playing mayhem and investigate the installations. We entered the Church of Clarkson, a bizarre shrine to Mr Jeremy C where we were accepted into the fold after a short sermon (a reading of The World According to Clarkson) and promising to renounce Corbyn and Piers Morgan and vote Tory.

Later on, we were lucky enough to enter the Love Stop café where we indulged in a three course meal of finger dancing, shoulder massage and then a tasty dessert of dancing and complimenting. This was a meal to nourish your heart, not your stomach.

We then returned to watch the last interactive games and the final acts on stage – some guy sticking a drill up his nose and turning it on, someone doing a striptease that featured cracking eggs down her naked body and culminated with pouring copious amounts of baked beans all over herself. You know, the usual.

All of this was expertly hosted by the deliciously sexy Lolo Brow who makes any event worth a visit.

I didn’t know what to expect but I loved what I got. They promised an even bigger and better show for next time though how they can top that I do not know. 

White Lyan and LCC Shoreditch, 19th June

I went to book the London Cocktail Club for 9 pm on a Friday and was told it was all booked up, which I was hardly surprised to see. But we thought we’d pop by anyway just in case there was a cancellation. We were in luck – there were two stools at the bar just waiting for us to perch upon them.

The place was a lot livelier than I had thought it would be. I’ve been to two LCCs now but both times on a weekday when the vibe was very low key. Clearly, if you want cocktails and a party on the weekend, this is the place to come. And it also explains why you can just rock up and chance your arm – people may book tables but there are areas to dance and plenty of standing room as well so you can likely squeeze in.

We were more interested in the drinking than the dancing on this occasion so we just stayed for two drinks before moseying on to another place to cross off the list.  Which is kind of a shame as the party seemed like it was only getting started when we were there yet it was already buzzing. One to return to I think. 

We absolutely loved the idea of the sharing cocktails – there was one that came in a boat and another that was served in your very own dispenser sitting on a monkey’s head. These were a little out of our price range though so we just looked on in envy and awe at those who ordered them. Instead we tried some of the interesting drinks on the menu such as the butter beer - Camden IPA, vanilla Stolichnya vodka, caramel, apple and honey Jack Daniels. You’ll know I’m not much of a beer drinker but I could easily gulp this down.

We also made sure to try the fortune cookie cocktail which was served in a bowl with chopsticks and a fortune cookie. This looked cooler than it tasted and I much preferred my old classic of espresso martini. Especially with bourbon biscuit pasted to the side!

With that caffeine adding a spring to my step, we hopped off our stools and made our way to Hoxton to catch White Lyan before it shut.


 
White Lyan

White Lyan was the polar opposite of the atmosphere we had just exited. It was quiet to the extreme and we were served by the antithesis to the typical Shoreditch barman. No beard, no tats, just someone who was very obviously into the mixology behind the creations they served and very happy to spend a lot of time going through all the ingredients and processes while we quizzed him about every drink.

White Lyan is cold and clinical  and feels a bit like an 80s boardroom. Not really my style. Especially on a Friday night. I preferred the jumpin’ ambience of the LCC. However, the drinks were incredibly interesting and perfectly executed. The MO for White Lyan is pre-batched cocktails, the idea being they spend enough time getting the measures and combinations exactly right behind the scenes and then they bottle it and preserve it, so you don’t waste time waiting to get served. Considering how quiet it is, that part of it is probably something they don’t have to worry about, but the attention they spend in perfecting the drink is evident.

Each cocktail has something interesting about it and they’re all their own creation which made choosing the ones to have even more difficult than I normally find it. Eventually we narrowed down which sections we wanted to try and made our decisions. First up was something from the Fizz section. I had the seaside, an intriguing blend of tequila, yuzu, sea grass and avocado leaf soda. The yuzu and lime gave it a pleasant and light, slightly sweet and citrussy taste, while the avocado and seagrass made it very refreshing. Carolyn ordered the High Street which had elderflower champagne, blueberry vinegar and vitamin C. It was a bit like an alcoholic berocca and the discernible vinegar taste was actually nice!

We decided to go cheap for our last ones – something from the £6 hi-ball section. Carolyn ordered the Cherry Cola and I had the Meadow Spritz. Her Cherry Cola was basically, a rum and coke but with a cherry twist and tobacco to give it some depth. My Meadow was also quite an easy drink – the white grape soda making it fruity and the bitters ensuring the meadow flower liqueur wasn’t too flowery and pungent. I was impressed by the range and creativity of the drinks here. Just a shame about the setting.

Reggaeoke, 13th May

Reggaeoke has already established itself quite well in Brixton, having been going for about a year down there. I went along to its Eastside launch at the Queen of Hoxton. 

Reggaeoke is exactly what you might think it is - karaoke but all the songs are reggae! There was a decent turnout - the night is clearly popular enough down South to warrant some of the regulars making an appearance in Hipsterhood. And I can see why. The whole night had a bit of a party vibe, with the crowd being encouraged to sing along and support the performers on stage. For me (and I daresay quite a few others) just listening to the songs was enough as it was like revisiting my childhood with all the songs my dad would play at home.

The roster of songs you can perform is just great but I have to warn you if you're thinking about giving it a go - reggae is HARD! I was thinking about performing but I was too chicken. Every time I thought about doing a particular song I realised I didn't really know that many words. Then someone else would do the song and I would thank God I didn't bother trying it as the lyrics were much more difficult to 'sing' than I expected. 

Also - unlike with regular karaoke, all you get is the screen with the songs - no bouncy ball to help you along. 

Something like Night Nurse was quite straightforward but even Uptown Top Ranking and Murder She Wrote are trickier than you'd think! Not to mention Gimme the Light!

Some of the people were just awesome and knew the songs back to front. Others, errrr... less so. But it was all a lot of fun and if reggae is your bag then this is a great way to enjoy that music.

There are prizes for the best performance (ie not necessarily the best singer) but I didn't end up staying long enough to see who won though there were definitely a few contenders. Janine, the founder also makes an excellent host, being supportive to the performers and encouraging the audience to get involved. She's running a really fun night.

Love Shake (food), 18th March

I’d already been to the Love Shake for some late night revelry some time ago. But I always wanted to go back and try their shakes. It’s part of their name after all. So I met up with some friends there the other night and we thought we’d get some food too. Unfortunately their cooking options were limited and the only thing they were serving were hot dogs. Awful, typically English, no flavour or substance hot dogs. Do not ever bother with these. However, milkshakes were definitely on the menu and the one I had was worth going back for.

I had the Mars Attacks and firstly, it was gargantuan. It was a hard shake with Makers Mark in it, and it was so big you couldn’t taste any alcohol in it at all. At least, not until you got towards the bottom when the whisky flavour suddenly appeared. It was served in the metal cup in which it was mixed, and it was freezing, proving it was made the proper way, with ice cream. Mine had peanut butter, toffee and chocolate and it was just delicious! I really did ‘love’ that ‘shake’. (groan). So, don't bother with the food, but definitely try a milkshake or stay for their cheap beer offers. 

Swingers, 26th February

Even though I went on the very last night of this pop-up I thought it was worth writing about as they have promised to return in September with a permanent place. So, for an idea of what to expect when that opens, read on…

Their pop-up place was in the venue formerly known as Factory 7 where I once went to an absolutely ace rave hosted by Krankbrother. But I digress. You go in and either pay for entry or confirm your tickets. They will then give you your starting time and you are free to go in and make use of the bar area, which in this case overlooked the ‘course’. It was set up a bit like a chalet and was a nice enough bar to hang out in even without playing golf.

They had two choices of street food available – when we went it was Pizza Pilgrims and Butchies, both of which I’ve had before. I didn’t really like Pizza Pilgrims when I had them ages ago but must admit their pizzas do look good. I had Butchies again, which was just as good as the first time. I do love fried chicken in a bun and it’s so nice to see it being pimped up the way burgers have always traditionally been.

At our allotted time we walked over to tee off and get our scorecard, balls and clubs. There’s maybe 5 or ten minutes between each group but the whole course is so tiny that you’re effectively forever in a queue. However, it means you get to watch the people in front of you play and you quite easily and quickly become very friendly with the people in front and behind and it just feels like you’re all playing together. I really liked this and 9 holes is just the right amount of time for it not to feel like play is taking forever.

I am already a pretty big fan of minigolf so they were kind of preaching to the converted, but I think, fiven the limited space, they did a really good job of creating a fun course with each hole different enough to the others. There was a ‘sandpit’ feature, a water feature and some areas you could consider the ‘rough’. Most holes were par 3 and you were supposed to have 6 strokes max before cutting your losses in order to keep play moving. Most of the time we didn’t need this but occasionally one was just darn tricky and we had to take the full 6 – sneaky slopes and hidden holes sometimes got the better of us! Both me and Stephen were way over par in the end but what mattered was who won out of the two of us and I’m happy to say it was me!  

So I really enjoyed my City putting and will happily go back to their permanent home in the autumn. But probably without making use of their bar. Me and their pricing policies just did not get on…

One of my pet hates is feeling taken advantage of at a bar. It happened at Little Yellow Door when they automatically included service charge and I felt similarly at Swingers. While beer prices seemed in line with other bars in the area, the wine was really expensive! I asked for a medium white wine and was given a thimbleful – I said it seemed a little small and he topped it up to the ‘large’ size and then charged me £6.50. When looking at the menu I realized their ‘mediums’ were the 125ml and a large was 175 ml. Considering 125ml is the smallest measure you can serve of wine, it seems strange to call it a medium. 

Now besides £6.50 being what I would expect to pay for a 250ml glass, what really annoyed me was the pricing structure. It seemed designed to catch you out. The pinot grigio was the house wine and if you bought the 125ml you paid £1 less than for the other wines. If you bought a bottle of the house wine, you paid £2 less than the other wines. But if you bought a ‘large’ (which I suspect is what most people would order and Swingers know this) you paid exactly the same as the other wines! Same with the reds. Having realized this after buying my first glass, I decided that if I had to pay the same price, I might as well get one of the ‘good’ wines. But then I was told they only had house because they were getting rid of stock (as it was the last night). I said I didn’t want that one as it wasn’t good value for money. “But the house wine is cheaper!” she said. And then I pointed out that it wasn’t. So then I asked for a red wine but they only had the ones they sold by the bottle. So finally I had to get a cocktail and pay an extra £3. It made me wistful for American service where they probably would have just knocked a quid off the wine, opened a red anyway, or given me a cocktail for the same price as the wine I wanted. No such initiative in England. The cocktail was nice enough – a sour made with Gentleman Jack but even so I thought £9 was a bit steep given what you can get elsewhere. So, by all means go, swing away. Just approach the ‘10^th hole’ with caution!