Walluc, 1st September

Well, that was the worst meal I’ve had in recent memory.

I didn’t think you could go far wrong with dipping things in melted cheese but Walluc is here to prove otherwise. I had high hopes – suspecting that it might be a rather overlooked gem on Redchurch street, being forsaken for all the hipster places springing up all around. 

It is a ramshackle kind of place, and I’m never entirely sure of its opening hours so I suspected a quirky personality that I could really bond with lay inside. We walked past in June on a First Thursdays walking tour and it was rammed and buzzy, further adding to my hope. However, when we went, we were the sole customers.

There is only one option on the menu to eat – fondue. This is served with boiled potatoes (undercooked) and bread (comically stale and hard). Four tea lights were brought out and a stand set over them. Then the pot of cheese was placed upon it and given a stir. Stirring was essential as it was so lukewarm to begin with it started to set almost immediately. We ate as quickly as possible but still ended up with basically a lump of gooey cheese in the bowl before too long.

The best I can say about this is that at least it is not expensive at £13 for two. And to give them some benefit of the doubt, perhaps, for two people, they just couldn’t be arsed to make an effort with the food and looked upon us as an opportunity to get rid of their leftover product. Androuet, however, is similarly priced and is streets ahead in terms of, well, everything.