Ministry of Sound, 10th August

Our night in Ministry was almost a disaster, but by some miracle, our bouncer turned out to be more understanding than most. We got to the head of the queue only for the bouncer to tell us we needed I.D. Apparently everyone needs I.D. to enter regardless of how old you look. I had, for once, actually brought my driving license with me, though for the past six months at least I’ve taken to leaving it at home. Two of my friends, however, hadn’t brought any with them. With what we hoped were dazzling smiles, and a friendly demeanour, we kindly asked the bouncer to let us in, pointing out that nowhere when booking advance tickets does the website mention I.D. will be essential. I may have even pulled the ‘it’s my birthday’ thing, and instead of being a knob, he let us through. Huzzah!

We went in and went to the bar in relief for a drink before we explored.

Ministry of Sound had an odd mix of people. I feel like most of the people were there because it’s a bit of an institution, rather than because they think it’s a good club.  I’m sure there were some, like me, who were there because the Ministry is such a big name that they just wanted to see what it was like. I think a good proportion were visitors to London, probably choosing Ministry because the name is world famous and it was almost a tourist attraction for clubbers. A lot of the clientele were quite young. I can imagine them choosing Ministry of Sound for their first clubbing experiences, again because the name is so well known, and they have yet to become more discerning in their tastes.

It’s not that Ministry is a bad club. It’s a lot smaller than I was expecting. The first room we entered felt like it should just be the bar, because it was so narrow, but in fact it was one of the main rooms. Then there was another bigger room, and a chillout area, and that was it! I kind of wondered where the rest of the club was!

I did like the second room. As you go in there’s a warning that the sound levels may cause damage and they’re not kidding. The music being played in there was bass-heavy and the bass was turned up so loud that it made my nostril hairs and eyelashes vibrate. This I consider a good thing.

I was pretty happy with the music overall, though the drinks were pretty expensive. I just didn’t warm to the place, not the way I did when I went to Fabric for the first time, for example. Maybe the crowd was a little too young for my liking, or it might just be that it felt too commercial in some ways whereas Fabric, to me, still retains an underground feel to it. Maybe it was just too busy! Whatever it was, it didn’t give bloom to a burgeoning desire within me to go back there, though if they had on an act I really wanted to see, I would still go back there. However, without such a draw, if I must head south of the river for my clubbing delights, which I rarely do, I’ll be more likely to end up in Cable or The Coronet than Ministry.